#by the way. before I go back to sleep and forget.

[immortalmolloy]

Daniel was shocked and he froze for a moment. He could feel the way the boat rocked gently and hear the soft sound of waves lapping at the ship’s hull outside. The room was lit very dimly by a single lamp in the corner.

It was surprising to hear Mina say that he was a light in her life. Daniel had always seen himself as more of a black hole. Hearing Mina say how much he meant to her and how special she thought he was, it meant so much to Daniel. It made him want to be everything she needed. And it made him think maybe he didn’t always need to run to Armand when he was desperate to hear kind words and praises. Mina would assure him. He wanted to do the same for her.

He was usually good with words but this was a complicated subject that hurt him too. Daniel felt shame for things he had done too. He had been so sure back then that he knew who the monsters were. Now he doubted that. Violent memories haunted him in his sleep more often than he’d like to admit.

He was so grateful for Mina. He didn’t know how she was exactly before they had met, only knew what she had said and what he saw in her mind. He understood choices she had made. He couldn’t understand completely but he didn’t blame her for things she had done. She made hard choices. She was strong and brave. She survived and endured.

Daniel had changed a lot too since he met her. He owed her everything. She saved him again and again. He could never repay her for how she rescued him from the grave he was determined to crawl in. She had given him purpose and shown him true love that he had been searching for. She helped him to grow into the person he was meant to be.

“I can’t pretend to know it all,” Daniel said finally. “I do understand how it is to feel like the worst kind of monster, to have your past choices weighing on you suffocating you slowly, to be haunted by painful memories in your sleep. I see their faces. The monsters. The ones we hunted. Some of them deserved it-at least, I think they did. But others... I used to believe I was the hero in the story. I thought I knew who the monsters were. And now, I don't know anything. I’m always going to Lestat for reassurance. Lestat tells me all of the terrible things he’s done and that’s the only way I stop hating myself.”

Daniel sighed. “We can’t forget these things we’ve done. You don’t have to carry it alone, though. We have each other always and forever. I may not have known you so long ago but I do know you now. I know your heart and mind and soul. We were meant to find each other. You are my soulmate for all eternity. You're one of the bravest, strongest people l've ever known. You made hard choices because you thought it was the right thing to do and maybe you didn't always get it right. Maybe neither of us did. But you still deserve the world, Mina. You are amazing and you deserve love and to heal from this stuff. I’m here for you. I’ll help you.”

He kissed her forehead and held her close. "I don't know where I'd be without you. I don't even know who I'd be. You gave me purpose, Mina. A reason to fight, even when I wanted to give up. You’ve shown me love. I could never thank you enough for how you rescued me and saved me. If I’m a light in your life then you’re the whole damn sun in mine.”

“So, you want to interview vampires, so you?”

[lavenders388]

hey :) I was wondering if you could do a Dae ho fic, where he and the reader are absolutely oblivious to their feelings and Jung-bae decides to do what he can to push them together (the ultimate wing man) Thanks

~Oblivious~

Kang Dae Ho x Reader

requested 💌

a/n: this is the cutest request ever:) i love jung bae and dae ho together and this is such a sweet idea! sorry if this seems a bit rushed!! i wrote it before school:3

"during lights out, we should keep watch over the group in pairs." gi hun states sternly. he is met with some mumbled "why?"s, but out of desperation and lack of anything else to follow in the place, everyone has silently agreed to just go with what he says.

as the recorded voice echoes throughout the large, intimidating room you all will call home for the night, you look around to who could be your second for watch duty. you think about choosing maybe guaem ja or her son as they have become the closest to you, closest to friends.

"hey y/n, you watch with dae ho tonight." you hear from the bunk next to you. you look and see it to have come from jung bae, the man who knows gi hun from before the games. you've grown to trust him as well, his genuineness aiding in delivering moments of relief from the awful place you've all found each other in. you notice he's trying to hide a smile.

"okay sure!" you say with a small smile, relieved to know what the plan is for the night as well as to have someone to spend it with. the thought of not being alone relieves your fear massively, and then thought of dae ho being your partner made your twinge.

"may i stay here until it's my turn?" you ask gi hun, referring to your bunk that's across the X side of the room. "yes of course, it wouldn't be safe to walk all that ways in the night." gi hun replies. the reminder of the unsafe situation makes your skin crawl thinking about what could come throughout the night.

all you want is to just go home, but knowing that home wouldn't be much better makes your spirit falter. you've grown to enjoy being apart of your group, the community being something very starkly different than what you're used to. you had a few friends before coming to the game, but you were never super close. they probably haven't even noticed you're missing yet. as the brisk thought of them not having a clue of your whereabouts crosses your mind, you look around to the group who decided they would protect you throughout this before even knowing you. they're all talking amongst themselves, joking and being kind. its refreshing. it makes you forget all about where you are.

you decide that when you're out you wont be notifying your friends back home. you'll take the money and spend your time with the people you're with right now, the people who chose to care for you out of the kindness of themselves.

thinking about this makes you realize how much you don't want to stop spending your time with these people. your thoughts are interrupted by a soft hand on your shoulder. you turn and see dae ho.

you smile at him, and listen as he begins to tell you why he got your attention. "we should stay close together until its time for our watch. would you like to sleep in the bed next to mine?" he says with his normal confidence, all though you notice his voice faltering a bit when he asks you to sleep next to him. "of course dae ho, thank you for asking." you say smiling at him again.

"actually would you guys be okay taking the first watch, it would probably be the safest one." you hear from above you as you see jung baes head poking out of one of the taller bunks. you both agree and get out of bed heading to where gi hun designated the watch point of your little base.

after you get settled, an awkward silence falls on you. "do you really think that people will try to fight us tonight?" you ask dae ho in a whisper, trying to start a conversation but also speaking your worry in a way that might make you feel better. "I'm not sure, but gi hun said that's what happened last time. he didn't say it was every night though, so maybe we'll be okay tonight." he says in a soft but still confident tone. it makes you feel safer, knowing that fighting may not even break out tonight. his voice comforts you as well.

"what do you plan on doing with the money when you get out?" you ask him, looking up at him for the answer. "well first i would pay off some debts, then i think i would buy a house, or even an apartment depending on how much i get. and then after that i haven't really thought of anything." he says with a chuckle that brings a smile to your face. "what about you, y/n?" he asks you. "honestly the same as you. like exactly. I wanna pay off whatever I can and then settle down somewhere. and then I'm not sure." you say to him with a smile. you think its funny you both have the same plan.

"i think thats a great idea y/n." he says to you softly and genuinely. you've grown to really appreciate the way he speaks to you, to everyone. you smile at him again as another awkward silence falls over the two of you. "if you make way more than what you think you will, then what do you think you would do?" he asks sweetly, caring for your answer as well as to dissipate the silence. "I have no idea!" you say a little louder than you should've, with a hint of sarcasm. "i think maybe id get like a cool car or something i don't know." you say laughing at yourself. your laugh makes him smile.

"what would you do dae ho?" you ask him in return. "i might start up a business or something, like maybe a coffee shop or a little market." he answers. you find this endearing. "that's really interesting!" you reply. "that sounds really fun, maybe ill do that as well."

"maybe we could do it together."

he states, his mood shifting from small talk to something more.

"i would really like that." you reply.

"hey lovebirds its our turn to watch." jung bae says laughing with gi hun from behind the two of you. you wonder how long they've been standing there.

as you crawl back into the bed next to him, you begin to hope there was truth in jung baes words.

[sinsodom]

Through with all.

What i don't get is the fans reaction. You point out that he is so bad. Please where?? We still don't know shit what happened and why?? Why judge a cover by it's book??

What did he do besides saving the kid meanwhile tucking her to bed cause she had a fever?? If a possessive man wants to lock a person up, they can. He never really kept her away, just giving her the choice to stay back and mc just doesn't. He even says it. But MC just sucks and cant stay back. (and yes he knew she can escape, hello??)

Don't get me wrong here. He is weird. But you guys complain more abt that than that he came back and Mc just was like: oh what a happy sunday!! Lets go home and sleep in his place and continue our lives.

Until now we know that we know nothing. And saying that he is a bad guy is just as always too fast imagining. If he is undercover he has to do some things. Nothing points clearly out that he is on the bad side.

Most of you don't know how life works, it showed. Undercover you cant take risks. The drugging part wasn't even one?? Hes a colonel and can't tell what he does so he gave her the choice. She didn't trust him so he had to act. (wasn't too inoortant to get kevi cause when she wanted, shed leave) First mc is persistent and can't be beaten and than shes not finding out what's up with all?? Come on.

All in all. Im sure he is undercover to find out all about the fleet, experiments and co. To save mc again. What they all did and do. Mc is just too proud to clearly make him tell all, like she did before. She prefers the easier way.

So no. Caleb is no Bad guy. He is just undercover and MC absolutely doesnt follow. Up with him so he had to control her somehow. After Kevi got saved i was like: ooooh he knew and instead of bothering her, they did it. And mc fucks it up again. Sorry but i would drug her too.

All in all i am shocked how dark the community wants him to be. Making and forcing up conclusions and theories that don't even fit. A bit dark is okay but you want him to be basically ww2 asshole. What is wrong with you guys. Rapes and shit?? Forced?? Are you crazy?? Chillaxx.... He isnt what you want him to be. Accept it. And wait for the future facts from him.

Until now he is sacrifing everything he has and feels for mc. Lets not forget that mc is always a target cause of her core....

For me, mc is absolutely disappointing in reacting to caleb. Cant always be 1 with her but the whole story she reacted wrong for me being devot all the time and just eating all with no further things. I wouldn't talk a word to him and look at him until he explains something. That was like: yes please hurt me again and again, no matter the consequences, mc needs it.

Ew. Story was good, community just kinda ruined it.... Sadly.

Have a nice day yall 💚

Ps: NO ONE reacts like this, having a beloved back when you thought he is dead. No one. Facts.

[plumbottompie]

"What day is it?" you snap as she comes in. Your affini looks at you.

"Petal, you seem upset. I think you need some class-Es." She extends a vine, with a large flower on it. You barely even register the suggestion before you're pressing your face into the flower, and breathing deeply, inhaling the scent and holding it.

After three deep breaths, you pull away. "Thank you, Miss," you say, which is the proper response to her giving you a dose of xenodrugs. "Uh, what day is it, Miss?"

"I don't really see why you would need to know, cutie, after all, you spend every day more or less the same way, don't you?" She pats you on the head.

"Yeah but... uh..." you trail off, distracted by the hand on you. "Did you just give me class-As just now? I feel really sensitive."

"Sometimes class-Es can make people feel more sensitive. It's easier to focus on enjoying sensation when you're relaxed, after all."

You lean into her hand. "Focus... on enjoying..." you mumble, as you process her words. It still feels too strong to just be psychological, but she would never tell an outright lie. "Uh, Miss? I... how long have I been here?"

"I don't know, sweetie, you were standing here when I got back, but you could have been waiting here for hours. Do you need me to check the hab's tapes?"

"Yeah... I mean, no, that's not what I meant. Has it been more than a month since my wardship started?"

"You were only assigned for me for a one month wardship, and you're still here, aren't you petal?" You blink, feeling stupid. She's right, of course. Why are you even thinking about this?

"B-but... my boobs...?" What are you talking about? Oh, you remember! "I read they can't grow this big in only a month."

"I see, that's very interesting. Let me examine you more closely." Your clothes fall away, removed by vines that immediately start caressing you. Your knees go weak in a matter of seconds, and you happily collapse, letting her hold you up. "Your boobs are getting nice and big, aren't they?"

"Yes Mistress." You only call her that during sex, which this really wasn't supposed to be, she was just looking at you, but you're so turned on the word slips out on it's own. You expect her to be upset at you for turning this into something sexual, but a vine snakes into your ass, and at the same time, she leans down and kisses you, her tongue vine sliding down her throat, before she pulls away.

"Good girl," she says, and you realize that instead of being upset, she rewarded you. You smile, happy to know that you've pleased your Mistress. "Do you think your tits are too big?" she asks, squeezing them.

"No, MIstress. I want them even bigger. I just..." you just what? It's so hard to think, so hard not to just focus on enjoying your Mistress's vines. "I just need to know if I'm an independent."

A vine teases down your breasts and to your rock hard clit. It's a little over two inches now, even though it was bigger than average before your wardship. "An independent terran is considered an affini's equal. Tell me, petal, do you feel like my equal?"

"No, Mistress." Her vines pull away from your tits, clit, and ass, and she looks at you, observing you closely.

"Do you want me to treat you like my equal? I can, of course."

You shake your head so hard it makes you dizzy. "No! No, Mistress, I don't want that!"

"Good girl. You're going to be ready very soon, aren't you? Now, I think you need some class-Zs, and then to forget this whole day, don't you?"

You open your mouth, but the only response that comes out is "May I cum, Mistress?"

"No, not today, you've been a little naughty." The flower covers your face again, and you breathe deeply. You feel as your body stops trembling, your mind starts to slow, your eyelids droop, even your clit goes soft. "And next time you figure it out, kneel while you wait for me."

You dimly wonder what you figured out, before you go to sleep. When you wake, you'll discover that your tablet will no longer show you the timeline of class-Gs, but it's not like you're unsatisfied with them. After all, look at how much you've changed in only a month.

You were assigned to an affini for a one month wardship, and she helped you realize you were a trans woman and put you class-Gs. Now, looking in the mirror, you realize that from your research, the changes you've experienced should have taken at least three months.

You check your tablet to see what the date is, but it's not showing the date or time anywhere. Even if it was, you can't remember what day your wardship started. If you're right, your wardship ended a while ago, and she just... kept you? Didn't tell you that you were allowed to leave?

You consider trying the door out of the hab, and seeing if you can just walk out, but she'd be worried if she came back and you were gone, and besides, you're pretty mad. You'll wait for her to come home, and confront her about it. Maybe give her a chance to come clean, if it's true, or explain it to you, if you're wrong.

[littlemissshifter]

Dreaming and Lucid dreaming are Shifting.

Did that make you mad? Good, now read this till the end.

- Dreams: a series of thoughts, images, and sensations occurring in a person's mind during sleep.

- Lucid dreaming: dreams when you know you're dreaming while you're asleep.

- Shifting: a practice where individuals shift their awareness to alternate realities.

DREAMS

Since our awareness is shifting every second, what happens when we go to sleep? When our awareness stops being aware what happens?

Kids, kids, your awareness stops being aware here when you sleep. What about other realities?

When your conscious self goes to sleep, your subconscious self, which is connected to every reality imaginable what does it to?

It explores.

It explores all the different realities without limitations. Those are dreams. Every dream you've had is a different reality.

You are unaware while dreaming. You can't control these dreams. Why? Because did you think you can control your reality before stumbling upon manifesting or shifting? It's conditioning that is common in most of your dreams because you are conditioned that way, to believe reality cannot be controlled. This is why sometimes you can't differentiate between dreams and reality. Because they're both the same thing, one just happens when you're asleep.

We dream every night. The average is about 4-6 times each night. You shift every night. You remember some, you forget some. For me to explain why we forgot I'd have to make a different post because it'd get very long. For now just use Google.

"But why do my dreams revolve around this reality?" you ask. Because you're dreaming with the beliefs and conditioning of this reality.

If you were born in a magical world and were aware there, then your dreams will revolve around magic.

Shifting happens when you become aware of a different reality, When you've known only a particular reality your whole life, you subconscious only goes to different versions of that really. (I said subconscious because your conscious is asleep)

This is not fixed by the way. Like when you see a movie and you dream about it. When you become aware of a different world, you shift to (dream about) a different world.

Emotions play a important role in dreaming as well. They decide what your dream will be in different ways. Example: When you have a crush, you get a dream of being with them, it was fueled by your emotions of wanting to be with them. That there, is a reality where you are in a happy relationship with your crush.

Dreams are you shifting realities while unaware based on your beliefs, emotions, thoughts and conditioning of this particular reality.

Wait, beliefs, emotions, thoughts and conditioning? That sounds familiar. What else does that make? Oh yeah, your CR.

LUCID DREAMING

Now, since we've got the first topic covered, why can we control some dreams and not the other? People train themselves to lucid dream. It is possible to control all your dreams. When you become aware of the spiritual aspect of things, you get more vivid, lucid dreams because that is you taking control back whether it's a dream or your reality.

You can still lucid dreaming without ever knowing any spiritual aspect of anything. Why? Because shifting is the essence of existence. You shift every second, even sleeping.

You become aware in a dream and control it much like you scripted you can similar to your dr. It's the same.

I know what you're thinking, if they're the same, why does lucid dreaming and shifting feel so different?

Because you're aware of the fact that you're lucid dreaming. Emphasis on the dreaming here. You know you can control it, but you think you're still dreaming. 'Dreaming' for us defines that it's not real when in fact it is. If you changed your awareness to it being an actual reality, congratulations you've shifted with full awareness this time.

HOW DOES SHIFTING RELATE TO THEM

Dreaming and Lucid dreaming are a part of shifting. They are sub categories of shifting.

When you DREAM you're unaware of it being a dream, you think it's happening right now, but your conscious is asleep.

When you LUCID DREAM you're only half aware because you still believe that it's a 'dream' that you control.

When you SHIFT you're fully aware. Your conscious and subconscious are both in focused on one reality in front of you, like in your CR.

Everything you know or don't know is a part of shifting. Shifting is everything. Dreams and Lucid dreaming are not that different after all. They are different experiences yes. But the core of shifting is the same everywhere.

WHAT LEAD TO ME FINDING THIS OUT

I actually knew this for sometime, but it didn't hit me until a few days ago. How much we underestimate the mind in our daily life. Thinking shifting is something that leads us somewhere, when in reality it's us that leads shifting. You're all shifters because you're human. Human nature is shifting itself.

I've experimented in my dreams, becoming lucid and telling my mind to shift me places, to shift me back. Just whatever you can think of. The amount of power we hold in our dreams is the same as we hold in our daily life. Why the difference?

Time isn't real, so is reality. Who's to know except you?

Scientists do not know why we dream. Here is your answer.

This is my belief. My knowledge. My knowing. You don't have to accept this. You can think they're different, not at all related. That I'm just spouting nonsense. But then you are forgetting that we're shifting 24/7 why would that not include everything including dreams?

I'm open to opinions and questions. Please be civil and do not fight regarding this. Do not spread misinformation.

[oceandelreysworld]

Loving injuries pt.2

So so sorry ts look so long to make pt 2, but here it is!

_______________________________________

"Okay, just be gentle..?" You look at her with puppy eyes, not realizing what you were doing.

"Of course, princess, always." All Vi could think about is pulling your face close to hers to kiss you...

The eye contact between the two of you stayed like that for a moment. Vi is still holding your hand. You could feel the heating tension before Vi shook her head, focusing on what she needed to do again.

As Vi grabs the alcohol back up, she lets go of your hand to grab a cotton ball. You both felt that warmth turn into coldness.

You were a little disappointed, bringing you back to reality on what she was about to do.

She poors a small portion of the alcohol on the cotton, slowly coming closer to your side.

"You ready, pretty girl?"

You froze up but nodded your head hesitantly.

She placed her other hand back in yours, comforting you with the familiar warmth returning.

She was almost touching your skin, with you winceing your muscles in your face-

The door slamed open.

You both flinched at the loudness.

"Vi, stop!" Ekko yelled, dropping the pillows on the ground.

"What? What!" She froze in a panic.

"You can't just put alcohol on it open and infected! You need to clean it first dumbass!" Ekko argued with his hands moving in the air.

Your eyes are just wide at surprise with the level Ekkos voice was. He was a little scary when he's loud. He must have seen your emotions written on your face. He walks over to you, glaring at Vi, then turning his attention back at you.

"Damn it, I'm sorry, y/n. I didn't mean to scare you. I know that would've hurt like a bitch if I didn't say something though. I'm sorry."

"No... it's fine. I just wasn't expecting it. Or the door slamming." Eyes looking down at your hands, fiddling with your nails.

He looks at you with those eyes. Eyes you haven't seen in a really long time.

Ekko forgot how startled you got from loud noises. It was a whole thing when you were younger. The kids' Vi's age would make fun of you even though u were only a few years apart. Ekko and Powder were always there to calm you down, while Vi would yell or hit the other kids for making fun of you. When you would hear loud noises, you would go into a panic like state.

And you seemed to forget how bad Ekko and Vi got being protective of you. Reason on why they're acting the way they are now.

"Vi.. just let me handle her. Go help the others set up dinner." He sighed, closing his eyes to try and stay calm.

"Wha- Ekko, I was only trying to help!" Vi stands up from the seat, her body language defensive.

"Vi-"

"Vi." You interrupted ekko with a stearn voice, softened it up with a light sigh.

They stop bickering and turn their attention twords you.

"I dont wanna see you guys arguing about me. Please. We just got here."

Vi looks at little disappointed while Ekko has a smirk on his face.

"Hey. Stop it. She didn't know. Just because I told her to stop doesn't mean you get to act like you weren't part of the problem."

The silence in the room was so thick that you could legitimately cut it with a blade.

Both of their heads were looking twords the ground.

Vi opened her mouth and then closed it again for a moment before speaking.

"If you need me, princess, I'll be outside.."

"Thanks Vi. Ekko, when you're done, can you let her know to come back in?"

Vi walked out, shoving the pillows with her foot, moving them out of the way so she didn't step on them. Ekko just nodded his head, then looked back up at you.

"Can you do whatever it is that you and Vi were arguing about now?"

"Yeah yeah...I'm sorry. You know how we are.. especially when it comes to you.."

"I know...let's just get this over with please."

-------------------------------------------------------

Vi walks back into the room after helping set up dinner to see you sleeping, and Ekko sitting next to your bed knocked out in a chair.

As she walks up to him, putting her hand on his shoulder. "Hey, little man, I'll watch her for a little while. Go get some actual sleep."

He mumbled under his breath after opening his eyes all they way. "Fine. Just don't bother her too much."

"Yeah I know. "

He gets up after that, looking back at you, then walks out. Slaming the door a little to where Vi flinches.

You groan, moving over closer to the wall. Vi takes this chance to slowly and quietly lay down next to you. She covers you up with the blanket.

"Hmm? Vi?" You say in a groggy tone, still with your back turned to her. You slowly move to turn over, but with the slightest movement you wince.

"Hey hey, yeah, it's me, princess. It's me. Don't move, you'll hurt yourself mo- Hey wait- y/n I said don't move."

You turn over so you're facing her, ignoring what she just said. You don't say anything, neither does she, but you both feel the tension between you too. Body's so close you can feel the warmth of hers on your skin.

"You're as stubborn as you used to be, you know that y/n?" You can hear the smile on her face when she says that laughing.

You stare at your hands between you two. She sees you fiddling with them, so she grabbed both of your hands with hers and intertwined them. You instantly turn pink. You think it's embarrassing, but Vi on the other hand, finds it so lovable. Finds you lovable.

"You don't need to be nervous or embarrassed. There's no one else here. Just you and me. Just us." You can feel her looking at you when she's talking, but you're not bold enough to look back. She releases one of the hands she was holding to cup your face and tilt your head up to look at her.

"Just us y/n." Her face slowly inches closer as her eyes move from yours to your lips. Your breaths fasten, and you can feel your heart beat through your entire body. Your breathing starts to get heavier.

"Shhh, princess, it's okay. Shh, it's alright." She moves her hand from your face to your heart and moves your hand to hers.

"Breathe with me, okay? You can feel my heartbeat, yeah? Good, baby, good. Breathe how I am. Just take a few deep breaths." She nods her head as you start to breathe, nodding with her.

You stare at her as your face softens. Your breathing starts to calm down now that you can feel her heartbeat. It's so soothing to you. So nostalgic.

"There you go baby, see? All better." She says, smiling but slowly droping it as you both stare into eachothers eyes.

This time, it's you leaning in, moving your hand to her cheek, then to the back of her neck pulling her in for a kiss.

You feel the whole world pause. Like it's just you and her in that moment. Slowly and loving. She moves her hands, one wrapping around your waist, pulling even you in closer than you had been before.

You panic a bit before she leans in, your eyes flickering back and forth between hers and then down to her lips.

When she kisses you, your eyes start to flutter shut as she rubs her thumb on your waist. The feeling of her hand on your waist makes your whole body tingle with heat.

You gasp when she pulls you to her where your chests are touching. The only thing keeping you apart is the clothing.

She slips her tongue in, causing you to whine, and the feeling of her hand moving from your waist to your lower back makes you moan, goosebumps running all over your body.

Her kiss distracted you from the pain. The way her mouth moved with yours. The way her hands explored your body, slowly moving up your back, getting under your shirt. Her hands where so warm compared to your cold back.

She pulled away from the kiss, making you whimper from the loss of her lips on yours. You move your face closer to hers, trying to kiss her again.

Vi's lips ghosted gently on yours, her thumb and your bottom lip, and her forehead on yours.

"I dont wanna go too fast, baby. If we keep moving like this, I dont know if I'll be able to hold back...I don't wanna hurt you." She said, looking down at your lips, her voice whispering as her thumb rubs your bottom lip.

You look at her with puppy eyes as she talks slowly. You respond with a slow nod.

"You know.. I've wanted you to do that since forever." You chuckle.

She looks you in the eyes and just smiles. She moves her thumb to rub the side of your cheek. You get flustered again, but don't look away this time. You bit your bottom lip, trying to hide the big smile on your face.

She chuckles and pulls your face back in for a kiss. Being as gentle with you as she can be. Slowly kissing you, moving her lips from your to your forehead.

"Baby, you got two choices. You can sleep for the rest of the day, or I can go get you some food, bring it up here, sit up her, and eat with you. Hmm? Which one sounds better?" She says, whispering against your head.

"Both" you both laugh lightly.

"Okay, we can do that."

There's a comfortable moment of silence. You close your eyes and nuzzle your head into her neck as she chuckles.

"Hey, y/n?"

You mumbled a yes into the crook of her neck, causing her to laugh at the tickle of your voice.

"I never told you but...I- i love you."

You could feel the speed of her heartbeat and her breath pacing. You lay your hand on her heart, slowly moving your thumb in circles. You kiss her neck at the same time. You can feel her body relaxing more as you do.

"You didn't need to tell me...I've always known. I love you too Vi. Always have, always will." You smile as you can feel her hand move to the back of your head gently rubbing your hair.

She can't get enough of you. Her heart fluttered when you said you loved her. She's been waiting for you to say those words.

___________________________________________a/n: i am so so sorry ts took 4ever. Also if I slept anything wrong please tell me. I'm dislexic so I might make a few slip ups. I hope you guys liked ts😭🙏🏼💗

Tag list:

@maruiin @armyswag93 @maddiethegoodwitch

Ps:There was sb else that wanted to be tagged, but I couldn't find there tag😭

[dorabellingham]

Boyfriend material

headcanon

characters: jobe x fem!reader

request: yes!

may contain spelling and translation errors

1. King of well-planned surprises

Jobe loves to surprise you, but he doesn't do it in an obvious or cliché way. Instead of flowers at the door of the house, he books a private cooking class because he knows you casually commented on learning how to make typical food from somewhere. He listens to the small details and transforms them into big gestures. And the best? He gets a shy smile, a little embarrassed, waiting for your reaction, as if he didn't know he got it right.

2. He memorises your favourite playlist

Jobe knows all the songs you love. He has a playlist on Spotify called "For Y/n" and whenever he hears a song that reminds you, he adds it. The cutest thing is that sometimes he plays when you're in the car, just to see you sing. And of course, when they are separated, he sends a song from the list with a "I remembered you."

3. He's a great cook (but only for you)

Despite being a disaster in the kitchen when he's alone, Jobe makes a real effort when it's for you. He learns basic recipes and ventures with more elaborate dishes just because he knows you like them. It's always an event: he puts on music, tries to follow recipes on YouTube, and in the end, the kitchen is a mess. But he compensates by putting the food on the table with a proud smile, waiting for your compliment.

4. He is the best listener in the world

Jobe has a special talent for hearing you talk about absolutely anything. If you're talking about a book, about the new series you watched, or even about something you read in an academic article, he pays attention with genuine interest. He asks questions, gives opinions, and you feel like the most important person in the world.

5. He's absurdly affectionate in public

He's not afraid to show how much he loves you in public. Whenever you are walking together, he holds your hand, gives quick kisses on tour forehead or wraps you with his big arm when it's cold. He doesn't care if there are paparazzi around or if someone is watching - he just wants you to know that he is there, on your side, always.

6. He's the type who solves fights calmly (and hugs)

Jobe hates fights and discord, especially with you. He is the one who tries to solve everything calmly and by talking. Even when he is angry, he takes a deep breath, tries to listen to his side and speaks carefully. If he feels that the discussion is too heavy, he interrupts and says: "Let's breathe and talk about it later, I don't want to hurt you." And, of course, he never lets you sleep upset - he always ends the night with an apology or a tight hug.

7. He is super protective, but not in a possessive way

He is the kind of boyfriend who ensures that you feel safe all the time. It is protective in a subtle way - like being careful when they are in crowded places, holding your hand so they don't get lost, or checking the car before a trip. He is never possessive, but everyone knows that you are the love of his life.

8. He encourages your dreams (and remembers the details)

Jobe not only believes in your dreams, but also makes a point of being the greatest supporter. If you have a new project, he is the first to ask how he can help. He also remembers the smallest details, like when you mentioned that you wanted to go back to practising something, and sent cute messages before the first day saying how proud you were.

9. He is very organised, except when he is in love

Most of the time, Jove is super organised: the closet is tidy, the schedules are in place and he follows an impeccable routine. But when he's with you, it all falls apart. He forgets his socks on the couch because they were watching a movie together or leaves the bed untidy because he preferred to sleep a little more to the solo. He always says that you are the only thing that messes up his life - in a good way.

10. He's unbearably cute when he's jealous

Jobe is mature and confident, but even he can't resist a little jealousy from time to time. If someone flirts with you, he doesn't make a scene, but the closed look and the hand on your waist deliver everything. Then, he jokes: "Just for you to remember, you already have a very good english by your side." And of course, you love to provoke him just to see this reaction - which only makes him even more cute and in love.

[streetchicken]

It's been 40°C (roughly 104 in freedom numbers) the past 2 days and I don't have the energy to draw anything, so y'all are getting sadboy nikghost hours as my first attempt at a minific-

NikPriceGhost? Mostly NikGhost worried over Price :)

Trigger warning: No beta, we go down like the helo when Ghost's piloting.

It's probably early morning now. Or at least Nikolai assumes it's early morning. He hasn't had much grasp on time since providing ex-fil for 141 earlier that day, or yesterday or whenever it had been.

The mission was a bust. It wasn't anyone's fault in particular. Intel was false, the site had been armed and waiting in the dark for the two-man stealth team. It was supposed to be easy. A routine recon with Lieutenant Ghost and Captain Price leading the mission. A mission they seemed overqualified for. In and out. Like shadows in the night, gone before witnesses could even gasp a last breath.

Nik takes a long breath then dangles the cigarette between his fingers, tapping the ash into a metal bowl. The tip faintly glows, not even enough to light his fingers in the cover of dark. God it had been dark.

Nik could barely see as the two hauled into the Black Hawk. The only light provided by buttons, small screens and the pop of rifle bullets as they ricocheted off the hull. He didn't get a chance to see the state of them, focused more on maneuvering out of firing range. He thought everything would be okay. These are the two best members of Taskforce 141, unstoppable, бессмертный.

The next breath comes out shaky, curling into little puffs of frost. The city lights blinked idly, watching him, waiting for Nik to crack. The silence feels so loud. Nik slots a shaky hand over his eyes. He can still hear it.

Ghost's voiced trembled. That man never faltered. To hear him so uncertain. еб��ть, he nearly put the copter in a nosedive at that.

"Price was hit." Nik can still hear the echoes of it. "Nik, i's bad."

The cigarette finds it's way between Nikolai's lips again. The taste of cheap tobacco sticks to his tongue. He couldn't find his usual quality stuff when they landed at a hidden base just on the outskirts of some random city Nik couldn't care to remember the name of. In fact, he'd nicked this pack off Ghost first chance he could.

The cigarette slips from between the russian man's lips. His eyes snap up to find one of those very shadows at his side. Chist, Nik hadn't even heard Simon come out onto the balcony.

"I forget they call you the Ghost." Nik rumbles into the otherwise silent air. A face if bravado slipping on easily.

Simon scoots the custom balaclava up to the bridge of his nose. His skin basically glows under the moonlight with just how pale it is.

Like a ghost. Nik muses, realising the moniker isn't just for how silently Simon can move. "Can I have cigarettes back?"

Simon takes up the seat on the other side of the small patio sofa. He could almost curse the hotel for cheaping out on the chairs. "Can' sleep?"

Typical Simon, right to the point. Nik swallows the rock that settles in his throat. Suddenly he contemplates stealing it back from between Simon's fingers.

"John?" Simon continues, easily guessing the reason for Nik's silence.

He sighs in response and hangs his head between his shoulders. The cold does little to quell the burning behind thick black lashes.

Simon studies Nik from his perch on the seat, free arm lazily settling on the backrest behind Nikolai. The Russian's hair is pulled out from the usual slicked back look, baby curls fanning at his neck and around his ears. "Th' doc said 'e'll be olright."

"'Alright.'" Nick mimics the word, trying to dispel the images of Price so pale and lifeless in the gurney. "He was shot, Simon."

"And i' isn't the first time, Nik." Simon rebuttles in that even tone of his. Nik settles against that tone, using it to stay level. Simon finishes the thought. "And i' didn't hit anythin' vital."

The air went quiet again. Crickets and distant traffic set a gentle hum as their backdrop.

Nik opens his mouth, but struggles to find the words. They stick to his throat, ache like barbed wire. It hurt to admit what he was feeling, but if this didn't go anywhere he's afraid he'd pop.

"I can't- I can't lose him, Simon."

Simon lets the words settle in the night, allowing Nik a moment to collect his thoughts.

"He...you, I-" Nik's voice breaks. It cracks pathetically in the face of silence. His eyes burn with unshed tears. "Черт, извини."

He sits back and runs a hand over his eyes. Nik presses the pads of his fingers into his sockets in a desperate attempt at dispelling the tears. His breath is shaky, laboured. His ribs feel so small, pressing into his lungs, his heart.

Simon breath puffs out around the cigarette. He's close enough already, so his fingers find the curls at nape of Nikolai's neck. They thread through the stiffened strands then settle in the juncture where Nikolai's shoulder meets his neck. It makes Nik's body rattle with a barely-there shiver.

With a soft tug Nikolai came thudding down against Simon's shoulder, his face finding that space in the crook of the Brit's shoulder. Simon settles his hand around Nik's shoulder and adjusts to hold his weight.

And all at once Nik could find the courage to cry.

He hides his face from the city lights, keeping the tears private as they soak into Simon's shirt. There's no sound, no hiccuping, no sobs or wails. Just quiet tears and shuddery breaths.

And Simon lets him. He leans in closer, chasing off the cold and just holding Nik. He doesn't offer any words. No encouragement or soothing. Just quiet acceptance and a warm shoulder.

Suddenly the silence didn't feel so loud anymore.

[peakyswritings]

Heart, Body and Soul || Tommy Shelby x OC

CHAPTER 14 - EPILOGUE OF PART ONE

Summary: All hell has broken loose in the Ferrante household. There’s a choice to be made, and too little time to hesitate.

Warnings: time-typical misogyny, arranged marriage, mentions of forced marriage, mentions of killing, mentions of violence, mention of beatings, a bit of an age-gap (Tommy’s 30, Nina is in her early 20s). This is set between season 1 and 2. English is not my first language.

A/N: nothing for now, but I left a note at the end of the chapter. I got quite sentimental and rambled a bit, so I decided that it would be best to leave it there.

PREVIOUS CHAPTER

SERIES MASTERLIST

Gif credits

“According to tradition, they should get married at dawn, before word spreads,” Pietro paced around his father’s office, arms crossed, brain striving to find a solution to the predicament the family had found itself in. “But it’s too late for that.”

He snorted, wiping his face. The lack of sleep was starting to get to him. He hadn’t gone to bed after talking to Nina, he couldn’t imagine trying to sleep while the household threatened to collapse and implode. Moreover, he knew he would find his father awake as well, and he had been waiting for the chance to speak to him alone all evening. The meeting had been nothing but a mess. Everybody was too angry to think or act clearly, and they had accomplished nothing.

“Your uncle Mario has spoken against it,” his father shook his head. “And I can’t blame him. Shelby humiliated Agnese by…” he paused, grimacing. “Engaging with your sister. He wants him dead.”

“Uncle Mario has no head for business. We can’t afford to act out on revenge, not right now. If we listen to him, we’re fucked, you know it too.” Stopping in front of his father’s desk, Pietro rested with his left palm upon the wooden surface, slightly leaning in. “Imagine what would happen. We kill Shelby, we lose our ally against Sabini. And on top of that, we’ll have that mad brother of his seeking revenge,” he said, punctuating his speech with his finger.

“But if we give Nina to Stefano, we’ll seal our alliance with the Spinietta family.”

Pietro scoffed, raising his eyebrows. “The Spinietta family would betray us without a second thought, if that granted them the chance to rise, family or not. You forget Giuseppe Spinietta killed his own brother to take charge of the business. I wouldn’t be surprised if Stefano and Vito followed his example, someday.”

His father tapped his fingers on the desk, squinting his eyes. “So what do you suggest that we do?”

“We get Nina and Shelby married tomorrow, in secret,” he straightened his back. “During the night, or at dawn. Then we put them on the first boat to England.”

His father got up in an abrupt movement, taking a few steps away from his desk. He rubbed his mouth with his palm, pondering. “You want me to turn my back on my own brother?”

“It’s the only way.”

“He’ll never forgive me.”

“He will, when Shelby’s men help us in our war against Sabini.” Pietro crossed the room with long strides, until he was standing in front of him. “If uncle Antonio was here, he’d tell you the same thing.”

“But he’s not here, is he? And I don’t know how happy he’ll be when he finds out we made a decision without consulting him too.”

“Dad, this isn’t about us getting all along,” he said lowly. “This is about us averting a war we don’t need.”

The silence Pietro got in return told him he was finally getting through to him, and it spurred him to go on. He placed his hands on his father’s shoulders, looking him right in the eyes. “I can tell you’re not just worried about uncle Mario. You’re worried about Nina, about sending her away overnight. I am too. But right now, this is the best thing we can do for her. I don’t trust aunt Rita to stay quiet about what happened. If word spreads, she’s ruined.”

His father’s eyes traveled across his face as he took in his words, his expression indecipherable. At that point, Pietro could only hope they’d have the desired effect. Saying more was hazardous, and he had already pushed his luck by talking to him that way.

Long moments passed before his father nodded, more to himself than to him, a bitter smile making its way on his face. Then he affectionately patted him on the cheek. “One day, it’ll be you taking my place. I guess I should start letting you make decisions.”

Nina watched as the first rays of the sun filtered through the lace curtains, hues of amber and violet lightening the dark room. She hadn’t been able to sleep all night, tormented by thoughts of helplessness and guilt. What up until a few hours before had been nothing but a haze had finally taken shape in her mind, forcing her to face the mess she had made. Yet, there was still a missing piece, a doubt that nagged at her brain, a question she just couldn’t find an answer to.

How did it happen? Was there a turning point that had caused the unfolding of that unrelenting chain of events? Or was it a result of something so gradual she didn’t even notice it until it was too late?

Useless musings, she was aware of it. It had happened, no matter when, no matter how. Somewhere along the way, she grew to care for Tommy, and it made her reckless. It made her careless. So careless that she would leave her home, her family, everything she had ever known for the man who her cousin was supposed to marry. She felt like a terrible person for it. God, she was a terrible person. The vicious things she had said to Agnese that afternoon still haunted her. Agnese, who all her life had shown her nothing but kindness. She had ruined everything. For her cousin, for her family, for herself. And the worst thing was, despite the mess, despite the danger, and the risks, and the pain, - she did not regret it. She did not regret him. Because she had never felt more alive than she did with Tommy. When everything was dull and hopeless, he had lit a spark inside her, and that spark had bursted into a flame, and that flame had set her soul on fire. How could she ever regret something like that?

A soft knock on the door cut through her thoughts. Winston promptly raised his little head from his spot next to her, his yellow eyes snapping toward the source of the noise.

“Come in,” she said faintly, so faintly she suspected whoever had knocked couldn’t even hear her. But the door opened, revealing Pietro’s tall frame in the semi-darkness.

“I have just finished speaking to dad,” he said gravely, taking a few steps inside the room. He was still dressed as the previous night, and from the tired look on his face, Nina could tell he hadn’t closed an eye, just like her.

She anxiously scanned his features in search for a shift, a clue she could read to get her answer. But his expression was cold as stone. “And?” she enquired, fidgeting with her own fingers.

Pietro exhaled deeply through his nostrils, placing his hands on his hips. “He agreed,” he nodded, fixing his gaze on a point straight in front of him. “You’re marrying Shelby.” There was no inflection in his voice, nothing that could betray whatever emotion he might be feeling.

Nina’s breath caught in her throat. She blinked, letting his words hang in the air, afraid that it was only a trick or her own imagination, a counterfeit reflection of her hopes. “Are you serious?”

Her brother shifted his dark eyes on her, giving her a single nod. “Yes.”

Yes. Her father had said yes. A wave of relief washed over her, and she felt like she had been given back the air taken from her a few hours before. Tommy was safe. He’d be fine. They’d both be fine. She rubbed her eyes with her hand, holding back the sudden tears that had gathered. She hated feeling so emotional, so weak, but she couldn’t help it. And as the realisation sank in, something else came to the surface. Fear. Until that moment, marriage had been nothing more than a distant hypothesis, a possibility, a chance. Now it was awfully real, with all its implications, and risks, and consequences. Because it didn’t matter how strong her feelings for Tommy were, she had no certainties. She was jumping into the void not knowing where she’d land.

The mattress sank beside her, and a warm hand rested on her shoulder. “Chi fai, chianci?” Pietro taunted her, his tone softer, but still bearing a hint of reproach. (What are you doing, you’re crying?)

“No,” she sniffled, swallowing the lump in her throat.

Letting his hand fall, he leaned with his back against the wall, his shoulder brushing against hers. For a while, neither of them spoke. There wasn’t much to say. She had brought trouble upon the whole family, she knew that, he knew that. Nothing they could say could undo what she had done, no amount of anger and resentment could make them go back and change it. And Nina had already paid enough. The split lip their father’s heavy hand had left her with was proof of that.

It was Pietro who broke the silence. “If two months ago someone had told me you’d offer to marry a man just to save him I wouldn’t have believed them.”

Nina shook her head, the shadow of a smirk playing on her face. “Me neither.”

“You were supposed to do something more.”

Those words came like a stab. There was no malice in them, just pure, painful truth. A truth everyone around her had forced her to forswear, to lock away in a drawer as yet another hopeless dream. In her heart, she had always known she was meant for something more, that she would never be able to find her happiness in marriage and family, but the reality of things had hit her too hard way too many times.

Nina clenched her jaw, her mouth going dry. “I tried.”

“And you will try again,” Pietro murmured, like a statement of fact. “Because this is who you are.” A shadow of melancholy darkened his eyes. He let out a sigh, dropping his gaze to his hands. “I’m sorry I abandoned you after I came back from the war. I should’ve done more for you, I should’ve forced dad to see what I saw. Maybe things would’ve been different. Maybe-”

“You did enough,” she interrupted him, but there was no harshness in her voice. “Dad only sees what he wants to see.”

Their father was a stubborn man, and he had his own beliefs, beliefs he had already betrayed by allowing Nina way more than any other father allowed his daughter. Asking him more meant asking him the impossible.

“And…” she pondered her next words, playing with the hem of her nightgown. “This is not a sacrifice. Not completely, at least.”

She didn’t need to look at him to know that Pietro was scrutinising her, waiting for her to go on. For the bomb to drop.

“I care about Tommy,” she revealed. “I might not know what my life would’ve been like had things been different, or what my life will be like a year from now, but I know that I care about him. And that’s enough, for now.”

Her words sounded foreign to her own ears. She had never dared to say it out loud before, and yet there it went, coming out of her mouth as the simplest of truths. She felt lighter, as if a weight had been lifted off her shoulders. Because finally she could admit it to herself. Tommy Shelby had bursted into her life and made her question everything she thought she knew. He had made her feel things she never thought she’d be able to feel for anyone, he had taught her to see him. To love him, without neither of them realising it. And now that she knew how it felt to see and be seen, she wasn’t sure she could just let it go.

When she glanced at Pietro, a small smile tugged at his lips. Her eyebrows knitted in a confused frown. She could swear he was disappointed in her up until a few minutes before. But again, what went through her brother’s mind would always be a mystery to her.

“You’ve always done as you pleased,” he said. “You wanted to finish school, you finished school. You didn’t want to marry Spinietta, you didn’t marry Spinietta. Now you have decided you want to be with Shelby. God knows what you’ll do when we won’t be there to keep an eye on you.”

Despite his attempt at a joke, his voice bore a sadness that pierced right through her, and that she immediately recognised as her own, too.

We won’t be there to keep an eye on you.

That would be the last day she spent at home, with her family. She wouldn’t wake up to her mother’s rants anymore, or to her brothers’ fighting. She wouldn’t sneak into her father’s office to read when she’d need some peace, or cover up Winston’s shenanigans to prevent her mum from throwing him out the house. There was no telling when they’d get to see each other again. She pursed her lips, forcing herself to smile. “I guess you’ll find out.”

“I hope so,” he whispered. He turner to look at her, and when he spoke again, his tone was deadly serious. “You can still do what you want to do. This doesn’t have to be the end.”

She hoped he was right. She desperately wanted to believe he was. But that was the kind of thing only time could tell. She nodded, her eyes travelling to her window. The sun was rising above the horizon.

“Pietro, I need to talk to Tommy.”

She felt him stiffen beside her.

“You’ll have plenty of time to talk after you’re married,” he said dryly.

“Please.“

He sighed heavily, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Alright. But there are men watching, and they don’t know why Shelby’s confined there. They can’t see you. I can distract them, but you’ll have to be quick.”

Nina nodded frantically. “I’ll be quick,” she promised. “I just need a minute with him.”

“Fuck!”

Tommy’s voice resounded in the small room as he angrily kicked the door. He had been locked in there for hours, like a lion in a cage, waiting to be freed or put down. He had been brought to some kind of shack in the middle of the Sicilian fields, and left there to go insane. From the considerable number of pits he had caught a glimpse of before they pushed him inside, he could tell that was the place where the Ferrante family made people disappear.

Chances were, someone was digging a fresh one for him that very moment.

It was quite the exit, killed miles away from home, then thrown in a shallow grave where no one would ever look for him. All because he had fallen for the wrong woman. Again.

He sat on the edge of the small, uncomfortable bed, and dropped his head in his hands. That was not how it was supposed to go. Things had taken such an unpredictable turn in such a short span of time he could hardly believe it. Some part of him expected to wake up in his bed, in his house in Small Heath, and find out that all of that had been nothing more than a strange dream. He wondered when and how his family would receive the news. If they’d receive the news, or they’d be left to come to their own conclusions. If they’d grieve him, or only grieve the things he wouldn’t be get to give them anymore.

How foolish had been of him, to think he could have a chance at happiness. To think he could find someone whose mere presence seemed to heal the most wounded parts of his soul and keep them. Maybe what Campbell had said to him a few months before was true. Men like him weren’t meant to be loved.

The sound of keys hitting the lock startled him from his musings. His head snapped towards the door, heart racing. He was unarmed, but he could still fight. He was a soldier, for fuck’s sake. And a gangster. He had cheated death more times than he could count, what was one more?

He jumped to his feet, waiting. And it took him more than a moment to realise it wasn’t death who had come for him. It was Nina.

“Nina…”

Before he could say anything, she closed the door behind her and threw herself into his arms, holding him with a strength he had never imagined she could possess. He promptly wrapped his arms around her, burying his nose into her hair, her scent soothing his frayed nerves. She was there. She had come for him. He tightened his grip around her, scared that she was only a figment of his imagination, that she would slip away and disappear at any moment.

“Are you alright?” she asked, pulling away just enough to check. She cradled his face in her hands, frowning as she got a glimpse of the cut above his eyebrow.

“I’m fine, love,” he reassured her.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered, lowering her gaze. “I’m so sorry, this is all my fault.”

Tommy’s heart clenched in his chest. “Hey, look at me,” he said hoarsely, running his fingers through her raven hair away to move it away from her face. He gently took ahold of her chin, his thumb ghosting over her split lip. “Look at me. I don’t regret anything. You hear me? No regrets. You have nothing to be sorry about.”

Nina put her hand on his, then brought it to her lips to place a tender kiss on it. “We need to talk,” she murmured, and sent a quick glance towards the door. “But we need to be quick.”

Tommy swallowed hard, feeling the muscles in his back growing tense. He had to remind himself that yes, Nina was there, but that didn’t mean they were safe, not yet. “Go on.”

“The peace will stand. My father and Pietro are planning to make us get married in secret,” she explained, a hint of nervousness in her voice. “Then they’ll send us away. By the time my uncle finds out, it’ll be too late.”

He nodded, taking in her words. He should’ve felt relieved - and he did, to some extent -, but there was a doubt, a fear that stung at the back of his mind like a thorn by his side. Was it what she wanted? He wanted it, he knew it, and he had told her more than once. But she had never expressed the same wish. Not openly, at least.

She must’ve noticed the way he had wavered, because something changed in her expression. “If…” she paused, uncertainty flashing across her face. “If that’s what you want.”

Tommy quirked an eyebrow, tilting his head. “Well, it’s marriage or death, eh?”

Nina inhaled deeply, averting her gaze.

“Nothing has changed for me, Nina,” he said softly. “I’m just worried that this might not be what you want.”

She jerked her head up, shooting him a disbelieving look. “What part of ‘I’m yours’ did you not get?” she reminded him of what she had said to him the previous morning.

Tommy couldn’t help the grin growing on his face, a warmth he only felt with her spreading in his chest. Leaning in, he pressed a kiss on her lips. God, he had been wanting to do that since she had walked through that door.

“Tommy, wait,” she stuttered, gently pushing him away.

He looked at her in confusion. What, now?

“There’s something I need to tell you before we go through with this,” she said, taking a step back. “I mean, it’s not like we have much choice at this point, but still...” She sighed, searching for the right words. “You… you need to know. I don’t want you to jump into-”

“Nina, just speak,” he said firmly, putting an end to her rant.

“I don’t want children,” she blurted out. “I mean, I don’t want them now. Maybe that will change, maybe it won’t. But there’s a chance it won’t change, and you need to know.”

Tommy blinked, a frown making its way on his face. That was what worried her that much? He already knew. She had never put it in those words, but from the things she had said to him in the past, he had imagined it. And it wasn’t that big of a deal, for him. “It’s alright. We can wait until you’re ready.”

“What if it’s never?”

“Then we won’t have them, we’ll be careful,” he assured her. He let out a sigh, putting his hands on her shoulders. “Nina I want you. Fuck the rest. I love you. You don’t have to say it back, but I want you to know.”

Something unreadable flashed across her eyes, and he wondered whether he had made a mistake, by telling her. But he couldn’t keep it to himself anymore, he had to say it, cause had been eating at him for days. And she needed to know that what they were about to do wasn’t for nothing.

A soft knock on the door interrupted them. Nina glanced behind her. “I need to go,” she whispered, giving him a quick peck on the lips. A bitter disappointment filled his heart. He didn’t want her to go just yet. And a part of him had truly hoped she’d say it back to him.

When Nina walked away from him, she brought with her the warmth that had engulfed him, and he was left feeling almost cold, despite being in the middle of the summer. Before she walked out the door, she turned to face him, as if she had just remembered something. “Winston’s coming with us,” she stated in a tone that brooked no argument.

A throaty chuckle escaped his lips. “Yeah, Winston’s coming with us.”

She smiled in satisfaction, moving to walk out. Then she stopped again, turning to him one last time. “And Tommy?”

“What?”

“I love you too.”

Having placed the last of her bags in the hallway, Nina took one last look around her bedroom. It had been left almost completely untouched, she didn’t have the time nor the space to take all of her stuff with her. Her desk was still scattered with papers and notebooks, her favourite candle was still resting on the bedside table, her dresser was still full of books. Only her diaries had been safely packed in one of her suitcases. Her eyes trailed over all the things her grandmother had hand-painted for her when she was little: the little flowers on the closet, the bluebird on a corner above the door, the ivy on the side of the dresser. She couldn’t believe she was about to leave it all behind. The place that had watched her grow up, play, fight. The place that she had hated, cursed, that she had so desperately wanted to flee from. The place that would always have a part of her soul, despite everything.

Taking a deep breath, she forced herself to turn the light off and walk out the door. It was past midnight. It was almost time.

The door of Salvatore’s bedroom was open. They hadn’t talked since the previous night. He had been avoiding her on purpose, ignoring her questions, pretending not to see her, changing room whenever she walked in. She didn’t even know if he’d attend the wedding.

Gathering her courage, she peered into his room. He was facing the window, adding cufflinks to his pristine white shirt. From the way his back stiffened, she could tell he knew she was there, but he didn’t turn around, nor did he utter a single word.

After a moment of hesitation, she spoke. “Are you coming to the church?”

No answer.

She cleared her throat, shifting her weight from one foot to the other. “Is that a no, or…” she trailed off, fidgeting with the hem of her sleeve.

Again, no answer.

“You’re still so angry with me you won’t even say goodbye?”

Salvatore’s movements came to a halt. He slightly turned his head, looking at her from the corner of his eye, and a muscle twitched in his jaw. For a moment, Nina thought her words might’ve gotten through him. But he didn’t face her. Instead, he walked over to a jacket laying on the chair in front of the desk, and started fumbling in one of the pockets. She frowned, watching as he took something she couldn’t see out of it. As he then approached her with slow steps, she couldn’t help but tense.

Salvatore had become unpredictable, over the past couple of years. He had always had a temper, but the war seemed to have taken it to the extreme, turning his anger into a dormant beast, ready to bite and devour at the slightest trigger. A part of her felt guilty for even thinking that he could ever do something to her. But she hadn’t forgotten the way he had tried to hit her the day before, and the spiteful look in his eyes as he dug his fingers in her arm.

However, there was nothing menacing in his demeanour when he stopped in front of her. He stood tall, proud as usual, but there was a hint of sorrow on his scarred face.

“I know you stole a knife from me a few years ago, and I know you always carry it with you,” he revealed, his lips curving in a grin. “But I thought you should have something more…”, he paused, searching for the right word. “…suitable.”

Nina immediately recognised the switchblade. She knew well the intricate design of its bone handle, the roses painted on it. The family knife. All the men of the family had it. Her father, her brothers, her uncles, her cousins. She carefully grabbed it, turning it in her hand. Its lightness was impressive. She flicked it open in one swift motion, pleased by how easy it was to handle. She read the incisions on the blade. Che la mia ferita sia mortale on one side (May my wound be lethal). Ferrante on the other.

“You don’t forget who you are,” he said, his tone grave. “In less than twenty-four hours you’ll have his surname, but you’ll always be a Ferrante.”

Nina closed the knife, raising her gaze on her brother. For a split second, she got a glimpse of the boy he used to be. The loud boy who bothered her, who pushed her around, who found many different ways to make her angry. And she could swear his eyes were glistening with unshed tears.

Suddenly, he pulled her to him in a harsh, tight hug, and at first she had no idea how to respond. Her family, including herself, had never been too physical, and they often felt awkward when it came to displaying affection. Yet, it didn’t take her long to warm up. She wrapped her arms around him, hiding her face in his shirt. They’d never gotten particularly along, they’d had a considerable number of fights and disagreements, but he was still her brother, and she would miss him. She would miss him so much.

He placed a kiss on the top of her head. “Si ti tratta mali, iu vegnu e cci rumpu li gammi.” (If he hurts you, I’ll come break his legs.)

The small church smelled of incense, wood and stale beeswax. The pale, timid rays of dawn filtered though the stained glass, eerily falling on the crucifix statue at the rear of the altar. Christ’s tortured face was the only thing Nina could focus on as the priest’s voice reverberated through the stone walls. From where she was kneeling next to Tommy, he seemed to be staring right into her soul.

Her family was standing on the side, and by the looks on their faces, the function looked more like a funeral rather than a marriage. Her father’s expression was a mixture of pain and shame, her brothers were stoic, and as for her mother, she didn’t have the slightest intention to make an effort to hide her discontent. Maria had always wished for her daughter a beautiful wedding gown, a church full of flowers and candles, solemn music. Instead, she got nothing but a short, hurried ceremony. No readings, no elaborate vows. Just a quick ‘yes’, the bare minimum to fix her situation. Then she’d be gone.

Vincenzo Ferrante had taken care of everything. He had instructed the priest on what was to be done, and made sure the language barrier wouldn’t be a problem. Tommy would just have to express his consent. Then, after the ceremony, a car would bring them to the dock.

Nothing had gone as expected. And the Ferrante family could’ve never imagined that after Tommy Shelby’s arrival, they would never be the same.

As the priest spoke, Nina couldn’t make herself listen to him. The crushing weight of an unknown future was slowly descending on her shoulders, growing heavier with each second that passed, trapping her in its dark, icy grip. Fear had taken root inside her, and it was gradually draining her of every ounce of courage she had left, turning it into a poisonous lymph than ran through her veins, to her heart.

In all that darkness, she found herself praying. Praying that things would turn out fine. Praying that she hadn’t been a fool, by following her heart. Praying that she wasn’t making the biggest mistake of her life. Never before had she so strongly hoped that there was a God listening. Lacking the blind faith of the believer, she didn’t often pray. Yet, right now it was the only thing she could do. But it wasn’t a Father she was turning to. No. She had always thought that if there was a God, it must’ve been a woman. No Father could love so unconditionally, no Father would ever die for his ungrateful children’s sins. It was the kind of sacrifice only a Mother would make. And the act of creation had never belonged to men. So she prayed that good, nurturing Goddess she desperately wanted to believe in to welcome her plea and protect her like a loving mother.

As if sensing her agitation, Tommy subtly brushed his pinky finger against hers. It’ll be alright, he seemed to say. That fleeting contact was enough to bring her back to her senses, but it hardly calmed her rising panic.

When the priest started to ask the questions, her heart began to race. Tommy shifted his gaze on her, but she couldn’t bring herself to do the same. She was afraid that one look in her eyes would be enough for him to know what thoughts were poisoning her mind.

“Thomas Michael Shelby, vuoi accogliere Anna Ferrante come tua sposa nel Signore, promettendo di esserle fedele sempre, nella gioia e nel dolore…” (“Thomas Michael Shelby, do you take Anna Ferrante to be your wife? Do you promise to be faithful to her in good times and in bad…”)

She took a deep breath, trying to escape the fog gathering inside her head.

“Nella salute e nella malattia…” (“In sickness and in health…”)

Marriage. An unbreakable vow. An arrow that, once shot, could never be retreated.

“Di amarla e onorarla tutti i giorni della tua vita?” (“To love her and to honor her all the days of your life?”)

“Sì,” Tommy’s deep voice resounded through the high walls.

She froze, her fears finally gaining the upper hand. Was it what she truly wanted, or just what she thought she wanted? Was she doing the right thing? Would she regret her choice? Was she betraying herself?

“Nina,” Pietro hissed, snapping her out of that whirlwind of thoughts.

Without her even noticing, the priest had asked her the question, and was now waiting for her answer. Everybody was. She gulped, turning to look at Tommy, whose features were now full of apprehension. But she didn’t find the unknown that had scared her so much, in his blue eyes. She found the safety he had made her feel, the love he had shown her through every glance, every word, every touch. Slowly, she let her doubts drift away. She wasn’t scared because she didn’t trust him. She was scared because she had never thought of herself like someone who could be loved, and it felt foreign, and hard to believe.

The words her brother had said to her echoed in her mind. This doesn’t have to be the end.

She bit the inside of her cheek, gathering her courage. It was Tommy, just Tommy. He loved her. She loved him. She could still do the things she wanted to do.

So she said yes.

The land slowly faded into a dark silhouette as the ship sailed farther and farther away. Nina’s eyes strove to hold on to it, refusing to move until it became a black dot, and then disappeared into the distance.

Her heart felt astoundingly lighter.

She leaned against the railing, watching as the light reflected off the crystal water, sparks dancing across the blue expanse of the sea. She had ripped off her roots, mercilessly severing them one by one, and found herself surprised to acknowledge how easy leaving was once she had eradicated herself.

There was just one thing weighing her down. She would never forget the look in her father’s eyes when they said goodbye, or his silence when she asked him if would ever forgive her. In her heart, she knew he’d never be able to look at her the same. Although kept secret, the stain of shame had dried all over her name, and it could never be washed away.

Shame. That word had been following her like a shadow ever since she was a child. She became scared of it before she even knew what it meant. It hung over her head, carrying the terrifying promise of a wretched fate. A four-headed monster whose dreadful eyes watched her every step, waiting for her to fall.

It would have to wait a while longer. Because there were lots of things to be ashamed of, but love was not one of them.

She glanced at Tommy, standing next to her against the railing. Smartly dressed, with his peaky cap on and his gun poking out of his jacket, he looked just like the first time she saw him. She couldn’t notice it in the church, too overwhelmed by her own thoughts. He rubbed a cigarette between his lips, then placed it in his mouth, his gaze lost in thought. Like her, he was probably just processing everything that happened. She wished she could enter inside his mind, only for a moment, to know what was going through it. If, now that they had taken that step, there was any kind of regret taking shape inside it. But when he shifted his blue eyes on her and gave her a playful wink, her worries started to fade. His look was still as full of love as it was in the church.

“You’ve survived my family,” she said, lightly nudging him with her elbow. “Now it’s my turn.”

A wide grin grew on his face, which he concealed by lighting the cigarette. “I think you’ll fit in just fine,” he murmured.

Nina shook her head, her own lips curving in a smile. She wasn’t that scared anymore. The unknown opening in front of her felt more like a chance, rather than a threat, and she was ready to step into it. But there was still a needle digging into her brain, one it would take time for her to get rid of.

“Tommy,” she grabbed his attention, her tone dead serious.

He turned to look at her, his eyebrows twitching slightly as he waited for her to go on.

“I’m trusting you. Don’t make me regret it.”

A/N: We’ve come to the Epilogue of Part 1, and I still can’t believe that over the course of almost one year and a half it became what it became. I wanted to take a moment to thank all of you who have followed Nina’s journey up until now, and those who will continue to follow it in the next parts. To those who have left comments, and asks, and engaged constantly with it. I may often be late with my replies, but I can assure you I remember each one of you. The loved you have showed to this story has been so important for me. A special thanks also goes to my wonderful mutuals, who have joined this mess and shown endless support. And for those of you who will continue to read this, be ready, cause this is far from the ending. I’m so excited to move forward, and I hope you will be, too🤍

Heart, Body and Sould tag list

@zablife @queenofshinigamis @raincoffeeandfandoms / @justrainandcoffee @call-sign-shark

@kmc1989 @babayaga67 @kmhappybunny240 @diorrfairy @mariaelizabeth21-blog1

@gaslysainz @brummiereader @loverhymeswith @fairypitou @prettywhenicry4

@mysticalbouquetwolf-posts @woofgocows @girlwith-thepearlearring @goblinjnr @outlanderuniverse

@citylights31 @neonpurplestars89-blog @outlanderuniverse @red-riding-wood @evita-shelby

@look-at-the-soul @gathania93 @wonderlanddreamer @thelastemzy @meadows5

@mischievouslittlecreature @seedlings-stuff @misslittlegetou @strangeobsessed

General Tag list: @iamngoclinh08 @lilywinchesterlove @fandom-puff @capitanostella

@caelys @lucillethings @peakyxtommy @queenofkings1212 @lyarr24 @kmc1989 @call-sign-shark

@jomarch-wannabe @ce1iat @red-riding-wood @optimisticsandwichgladiator

@lunarubra @rangerelik

Tommy Shelby tag list

@50svibes @bellabarnes1378 @jbrownta

[lulublack90]

Prompt 24 - First Pet

@wolfstarmicrofic January 24, word count 746

Every day for the past two weeks, Remus had been stalked on his way to and from work. His stalker knew exactly when he’d leave the flat or the school, then from out of an alley or around a corner he’d appear. Remus had tried running, he’d tried shouting, he’d even tried squirting water at him, but nothing worked, the little, scruffy, black puppy always found him. 

“Hey, Mr Lupin, your puppy is waiting outside the gate,” Gavin piped up during personal reading time. Remus looked up. 

“It’s not my, oh, never mind,” He moved over to the window and looked out at the sad puppy eyes staring back at him. He warred in his head for a few minutes before he sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose as he came to a decision. “Is anyone going to dob me in if I bring a puppy to class?” A chorus of no’s sounded around the classroom. “Do not misbehave while I’m gone,” He warned them, he didn’t have to, as all the students in his class were amazing and as usual the best behaved in the school. 

He’d taken his big coat out with him and hurried across the paved court at the front of the school. As quietly as possible, he opened the wrought iron gate and whistled for the puppy. The puppy came plodding along, tripping over his too-big feet. “Hi,” Remus breathed as he stroked the scruffy puppy for the first time. He picked him up and bundled him into his coat. The puppy was so light. Remus hurried back into the warmth of the school. 

“He’s so cute!”

“Can he come in every day?”

“He’s such a good boy,” Remus’s students gushed. The little puppy was having the time of his life, going from student to student before settling under Remus’s desk for a long nap. 

Somehow, Remus got to the end of the day without anyone finding out about the puppy sleeping under his desk. Remus put his coat on and tucked the puppy down the front, holding his little butt to keep him from slipping. 

“Oh, Mr Lupin,” Ms McGonagall called out, just as he was about to walk out of the door. 

“Yes, Ms McGonagall,” He turned his head and smiled pleasantly at her.

“Don’t forget it's parent's night on Friday,” She reminded him.

“Of course, Ms McGonagall,” He said, forcing his smile wider. He turned to leave again. 

“Oh, and Mr Lupin,” She called after him again. He stopped walking. “Please refrain from bringing your dog into class again tomorrow.” Damn it!

“Yes, Ms McGonagall.” Finally, she let him leave. 

Their flat was only a short walk from the school, and he knew just how Sirius was going to react when Remus showed him the dog. 

“OH MY GODDDDDDDD!” Sirius squealed when the puppy jumped into his arms, putting his huge paws on Sirius’s chest so he could lick all over Sirius’s face. “Remus, I love him!” Sirius said, wrapping his arms around the wriggling pup. “What’s his name?” 

“He doesn’t have one yet,” Remus told him. The puppy jumped off Sirius’s lap and began exploring the flat, his enormous paws making soft padding sounds as he did. 

“What about Padfoot?” Sirius suggested. 

“No, that’s totally lame,” Remus scoffed. 

“Alright,” Sirius pulled a face at him. The puppy was snuffling around making a terribly loud noise as he sucked in air, smelling everything in front of him. 

“Snuffles?” Sirius asked, and before Remus could say anything, the pup had launched himself at Sirius and was licking him again. 

“Snuffles?” Remus said. It was almost as bad as Padfoot. The puppy jumped off Sirius and landed in front of Remus, plopping his little butt on the floor as he looked up at Remus, wagging his fluffy tail. 

“Yay, Snuffles,” Sirius cheered, and Snuffles ran back over to him. 

That night, Remus’s stalker ended up in bed with them. But only after the bath, Remus insisted he needed and took up far more room than a little puppy should in a kingsized bed, but he was so damn happy that Remus couldn’t find it in his heart to tell him to get down. They slept surprisingly well, Snuffles between Remus and Sirius, snoring softly. “We’re keeping him, right,” Sirius asked quietly, stroking Snuffles’s head. 

“Yeah, I think we are,” Remus smiled at him, leaning over and kissing him before turning off the bedside light and snuggling down to sleep. 

[messypansy]

Contains: Hypnosis, manipulation, technically somno?, forced masculinization, use of the F slur

This is a ramble, not supposed to be anything too accurate or well written, so be nice, please lol

If there's a tag you think needs to be here, let me know!

Just imagine:

You're dating a guy and 6 months in, everything's going well. He's really sweet, he takes you out to dinner, buys you your favorite books and new ones you've been meaning to get to, even being able to practically read your mind the way he just knows when you're hungry or thirsty. He just seems to be such good boyfriend material.

A while after, he sees you've not been putting as much effort into looking like a guy, even going so far as to wear feminine clothes and not correcting people when they call you by she/her pronouns. You've noticed the little glint in his eyes and the mild looks of irritation, but you've never thought to bring them up.

You don't question when he tells you you've got a doctor's appointment and that he'll take you. You don't question when the doctor supplies you your first dose of testosterone, nor do you realize that's what's in the "vaccine" your boyfriend swears it is. You don't question when he needs to run by the pharmacy and comes back to the car with a bag of supplies. You're none the wiser when he gives you your following doses in your sleep, waiting until you're unconscious to inject the needle into your fat.

When your attitude doesn't change in the first few weeks, still attempting to keep a hold on your femininity despite the growth happening between your legs, he decides to take some extra measures. Now, while you're asleep, he's slipping headphones on your head, allowing subliminals to fill your mind. This seems to help, so he continues to do so, even going so far as to put you into trance while you're awake and make you forget what he would do just as you come to. He starts off easy, just reaffirming the triggers he's set and putting it in your brain that you are indeed a man, but he increases the intensity more and more every day, setting in desires to be used like a man, to be seen as a man. Unbeknownst to you, when these little thoughts creep up in your mind throughout the day, you have no clue that they're because of what he's doing.

It eventually gets to a point where he's done some convincing without influence to let him try out anal with you. Even with his less than ethical methods before, he knew it needed no convincing on your part this time, and he takes care of you so nicely, having all the supplies to properly prep you for it all. Just like everything else, you have no clue this wouldn't be the first time, not that you're aware of at least.

He slips inside you with barely any effort after some prepping, surprising even you as he starts off slow. You can't help but feel like this isn't the first time you've done this, that you two MUST have done something before. Even in your moan-filled bliss, you can't help but beg the question. His rhythm stutters for a moment, almost pausing before pretending like you didn't just ask what you asked. You insist, even stating through moans that you're pretty sure he's done something.

He grabs your throat suddenly, pounding into you ruthlessly. "Of course I did. But I'm surprised you even remember." As your eyes widen, about to argue, you barely get even a word out before he's pressing more on your arteries and making your head spin from the lack of blood flow. He growls into your ear:

"I don't want to hear a word out of that mouth about it. You may be pissed, but I had to do it. You need to start acting like a man. You lost the right to your own body when you decided that you were gonna pretend to be some fucking girl and ignore the reality in front of you."

"Now shut the fuck up and take it like a man..."

Despite the still lingering anger and shock at the revelation, the way he fucks up into you is way too much, causing that still foggy brain of yours to give in despite it all, to just let him use you like the little fag you are. He whispers one little word into your ear, and although it doesn't send you into trance, it makes what he says next all the more enticing and convincing.

"Doesn't this feel good? To be used like the stupid whore you are? To be guided like this? To be shown your place?"

It all feels so good. It feels good for him to use you. It feels good when he slips his hand around and pumps your little developing cock. It feels good to hear his praises. It feels good to be called a 'good boy', to be called a 'fag'. It's what you are, after all.

"Are you gonna cum? Gonna cum from me fucking you like a man? From me stroking your cock?"

He says through grunts, already so close himself. It's all too much, the way he fills you up so nicely and the way he praises how you give in and clench with each masculine praise. You can't help but nod violently as your moans and whines practically evolve into cries and screams of pleasure. As the feeling of release overwhelms you, your body convulses under him, the only thing to stabilize you being his hands that hold your hips so tight that the possibility of bruising is a guarantee. You shudder as he finally cums inside you, painting your ass with spurts of white.

Your pants fill the room, your boyfriend staying inside you for a while before pulling out and rolling over onto his back. He pulls you into his embrace, holding your sweaty body close while he gets his bearings.

"From now on...", he starts, his speech slow and patchy. "You're...You're gonna be...fucked exclusively like this... No using that...that useless front hole. You're gonna listen to my words, to my orders...and be the man I know you are..."

You're eyes already flitting close, you can only nod slightly in response as you fall asleep against him.

As time goes on, he forces you to continue your masculinization, having to use hypnosis and trigger words on you less and less. He has you voice train as your voice drops, has you eating more of those necessary macros and making you work out, he takes you to a barber to get a more appropriate cut compared to the shaggy layers you donned before. He's even got a surgery date for you to get those lumps off your chest so you can start wearing shirts and going shirtless without a binder. He's completely changed you for the better.

And now?...

You actually believe it.

[mandy-asimp]

Florida Secrets

Jennifer Jareau x reader

The request was to base it off of touch tank by quinnie. Idk if I got lost deep into plot or waaa but there is references to the song.

Warnings: language, smut, teasing, alcohol usage (everyone's legally dw, ik you were)

For @emilyswhore sorry it took me like pushing 3 weeks I love getting lost in plot to avoid smut sometimes😭😭

You're too good of a friend, that has to be your issue. You put yourself in the friend-zone because you're such a good friend. Even now as you were up before the sun helping the Jenifer Jareau pack up the car to begin the drive down to Florida. Everyone was planned to meet before dinner at eight the same night. Not to forget how you offered to drive first so she could sleep longer.

She had tried to fight you on it, saying she'd take the first shift but with how quiet you were in the morning she knew it wasn't going to work in the end. You were quiet enough to get the keys before she'd even noticed.

"Alright, its just locking up then we're on the road. Do you need to stop for a coffee or anything?" She stood next to you at the back of the car. Searching your tired face to see if you really could drive first. "Hun if you need me to drive first I can. I've stayed up and driven many times before."

You shook your head, "no, no it's fine. I enjoy the emptiness of the highways and what not. I just had an energy drink on my way here." You were being honest if anything, it's all you needed to stay up the entire drive.

"Well you're only driving half the way there, so one was probably best for you. Help me do one more check that everything is off, locked, and unplugged." She pointed at the door before leading the way. You followed closely behind her only parting when inside. You took the upstairs as she did downstairs.

It was quick and simple. Until you got lost in her study, she had a picture of her and Henry on the desk. You adored her boy, he was a spitting image of her and also not to brag but you are his favorite amongst the team. It warmed your heart seeing all the love she had just in that picture.

You quickly pulled out of your trance as the wooden steps creaked under the footsteps of another. "You ok up here?" You heard her voice call.

The room being set, "yeah just making sure." You responded before stepping into her view. "Upstairs is all set. Henry with Will?"

"Yeah, he went Wednesday night. I just owe Will a vacation week in return." She began to descend back to the car. "Which isn't a bad thing or anything, but it's just what the playful terms were for this trip. This trip is just very adult based anyways so bringing Henry just didn't seem responsible."

"Jennifer Jareau, the responsible and reasonable mother of the FBI. Who will be coming out on this trip though? You have no responsibilities. I know I'm to be a different person." You had opened the passenger door for her once out at the car.

"So you really are going to keep up with Penelope the entire time?" JJ had gone for a teasing. "She's been dying to get your mysterious self drunk. Hoping to get out some of those secrets she can't find. Even the ones that pop up in your background check."

You threw the car in drive with one swift motion before raising a brow. "You ran a background check on me?"

"Only after a few weeks of learning nothing really about you. We got curious one girls night and it's muscle memory to Penelope." She flashed you a bright smile. "So, will you be spilling your guts?"

Your head shook again as you chuckled. You left the question unanswered as a peaceful silence already settled as you hit the road.

~

5 hours in and it was 10 am. JJ was still peacefully asleep next to you. You had made it into South Carolina without her waking once. It gave you the mindset she'd sleep through the rest of the state.

If she did you wouldn't mind though, you knew she worked hard. And with the last few cases she had been worked even more than anything. JJ needed this vacation and it showed in her stillness.

Although you were extremely surprised when she slept right till your pit stop at a the next town for a bathroom break. Quietly you had snuck in and used their restroom while getting snacks and drinks.

Took you no more than ten minutes but ten minutes must've been too still cause the blonde was awake on your return. "Do you need the bathroom?"

She let a groan slip through her lips first, "what state are we in?" She questioned after, rubbing the remainder of sleep out of her eyes.

"South Carolina. We're about half way through it. Also the four are behind us, texted them while inside if they wanted to meet for a lunch at Chilis or something. Aaron and Jack are leaving Sunday, Halley wants to see him once more before he comes. And Rossi said to make up for not coming he's planned something for everyone for Monday." You locked the car and walked with her back inside, knowing she didn't need it but you couldn't help it. When you were in there some guy had given you the creeps, so maybe you were just being some extra protection.

JJ hummed lightly, "so that makes us what maybe a little of 5 hours in?" She noticed how you walked all the way into the bathroom with her. Staying by the mirror as she went.

"Almost seven. If you want I'll drive to Chilis and then you can drive from there?" You offered to finish your shift. Although secretly you had an agenda for Chilis. The team easily suspects you for not being a crazed drinker because anytime you did go out, you only would have like one drink and a shot. Unbeknownst to them you loved your solo pre-gaming.

"Yeah that's fine. You can sleep then before dinner." She agreed as she came out.

JJ stood infront of you as you stared at her through the mirror. Finally seeing what was really wearing and it made your throat dry up like a puddle on a hot mid-summer day. She was in a cute little baby tee that hugged her in ways she had to understand were illegal but didn't care anyways. Paired with plaid sleep shorts that showed off her perfect legs that shined in the sun. Ending with her navy blue converse. You scolded yourself, it shouldn't phase you as much but something calls out to you with every passing hour.

So lost in your thoughts you missed how she had turned and came up to you. She stood taller than you but toe-to-toe with you and she knew how to make the world bend to her. sometimes even by her own hand, literally. She cupped your cheek and made your head crane back. "You alright there? The tiredness already catching up to you or is it something else?"

Her tone tickled a nerve in the back of your mind. It was telling you to feed into it. Once that thought crossed your mind, an inner voice couldn't let it go through. Then Penelope's deal for this trip came in as well. It trumped all the opposing thoughts and soon you were leaning up close to her ear. Hands so subtly slipping onto her waist and pulling her into you. She gasped slightly as your lips brushed the shell of her ear.

"It could be either," you whispered before breaking the stance and leading out the bathroom. You missed how she smirked.

Although once you stepped out, your prediction came true. The same creepy man was standing in the isle with a perfect shot of the bathroom door. He was already staring at you, but when JJ came around you watched his gaze deepen.

By his first step, you were already making your move. A hand slipped into JJ's and you brought her close behind you as you started to walk out. Pushing her in front of you once at the door and the man was maybe five strides away.

You sent him a pointed glare as the blonde had kept waking forward. You also sent him the finger before making your own exit. It wasn't till you were in the safety of the car you could breathe. "God, I hate men." You rolled your eyes as you started the vehicle. Not surprised as the man had walked purposely in front of your car and stared even harder.

"Having issues with the state of South Carolina?" She poked your arm. Which all you did was roll your eyes, earning that beautiful laugh you adored.

Three more driven hours had passed and you had hit 10 hours in. Now you sat in a booth with the other four child-adults. You had the drink menu in hand already, making eyebrows raise in suspicion.

"Starting your party early?" Derek had made the knowing comment, pushing the menu down just slightly. "Thought you weren't even that big of a drinker."

You hummed while still letting your eyes roam over the menu. "Would you like to know a secret about me?"

"Yes!" Penelope shouted in response. Leaning forward to really watch your features to see if she herself could pick if it was a lie or not.

You smirked and finally looked at the table, you had them on edge. "I've shown up drunk to every night we've gone out. I'm a pregame princess to save myself spending so much at bars." There was a collection of 'no's as you nodded. "I'm a pro at acting sober."

"Oh..oh that makes so much sense on why one drink does it for you. Oh my god, sugar pea I thought I was going to kill you on this trip! How much can you drink before it's tap out?" Penelope was throwing out questions so easily, loving this opening up side already.

"The most I drank was my third girls night with you and Emily." You paused to give them a second to recount the day.

"Oh my god, it was a miracle you didn't wake up with alcohol poisoning." Penelope covered her mouth in horror.

Trying not to laugh, you continued. "While I did my shower and put curlers in my hair, I drank at least four drinks, then while we waited for you to get ready, me and Emily were prepping pregame with shots, then the actual pregame, then maybe adding like the seven drinks and three shots we did once we were out. I was really fucking drunk that night."

Penelope gasped as she remembered, "is that why you had whispered to not let you go home with anyone?"

"You almost went home with someone?!" Derek was shocked at this new information now. He gave his charming laugh and you were giving in and joining.

"Yes! But I knew I wasn't in the right mind for anything, also wasn't up for anything. I'm a reserved person if you couldn't tell," you winked at him.

The table buzzed with laughter and drinks the entire hour you guys stayed. Penelope wasn't driving at all, so she was keeping you going as well. Both of your cheeks had pink tints to them any time you both got caught giggling a little more than anyone else.

By the time you had finished eating, you both were equally five margaritas. Bless the person who invented bottomless margaritas.

"I assume you're driving back?" Emily questioned to JJ, watching as you sipped your sixth marg in one go, giving a challenging glance to Penelope. "Because by the looks of it," their eyes drifted to you and you could sense their stares. Your eyes drifted over, only for you to blush under JJ's gaze.

"You drove for ten so I'll finish it up." She spoke to you and only you. Maybe it was the fact these people knew you were already in a tipsy state that you didn't have to hide it.

Your head lulled to her shoulder and you sighed lovingly, a more affectionate side of you was peeking through. "I'll make it a fun ride," you stared straight at the wall. Ignoring the shocked expressions around you. "It's only five more hours anyways."

You didn't realize how you lifted your head and faced her. You were close again to her, a sneaky hand squeezing at her thigh. But you did realize the server bringing another round of margaritas.

"Oh god Pen! You do know we're also drinking at dinner right?" You giggled as you still took the colorful drink. "This is like our seventh one..." you sounded like you were complaining even as the straw was in your mouth.

The sober four shook their heads and laughed. Everyone finishing up their conversations as you and Penelope finished your last drinks. High-fiving once both glasses were empty.

As you and JJ were about to part, you couldn't help the urge to give everyone big hugs before slipping off with the blonde, giggling as you hugged her from behind. "You're a giggler when not masking sober." She had shaken her head.

"I'm the best type of drunk though baby, this is only the start." You smirked as you slid into the passenger seat.

Although you weren't expecting her to lean over the console and get into your space instead. "Yeah? And what type of drunk is that, hun?" She seared the image of you right here into her mind. How doe eyed your tipsy stare was.

A beat of silence went by and then suddenly you were challenging her by inching closer as well. Your eyes fluttering between hers. Words didn't leave your mouth though, just silently staying close to her.

"Mmm, I guess I'll have to ask at dinner." She declared before pulling back. You didn't notice the way her gears had turned, too lost in her ocean blue eyes.

~

You had arrived at the hotel, everyone right behind you as you check in. Earning key cards to the suites Rossi had managed for you all. There was two hours until dinner. Giving everyone the chance to nap or just relax for a bit.

You had chosen to nap off the rest of your lunch drinks so you could put down at dinner and at the club after. Penelope had texted you separately on the drive talking about how she was ready to push your limits. You couldn't back down and out now.

You swiped the key card, pushing the door open when it beeped green.

Unbeknownst to you, Rossi is indeed one skilled profiler. No matter how hard you tried to keep yourself quiet and under everyone's radar, he managed to pick you apart. What's worse was he had the nerve to tell you, but you didn't believe him. So he took this chance to really prove to you what he knew.

Hence the one bedroom with a king sized bed in the middle.

"Well there's only one bed," you had muttered by the doorway. Eyes glossing at the sight of the room, it was grand and beautiful. The walls were an actual color, soft green, and not a boring beige. Decorations of flowers were scattered everywhere and it had a warm breeze blowing in the white curtains. "Besides that, this place is really cute."

"If you think about it though, we're the only two who would share a bed." She nudged your side, finally seeing what you were oozing adoration over. "It's calming."

"The perfect feeling for vacation." You threw out, letting a beat go by before you were already flopping onto the bed. Sighing at how plush the covers and mattress were.

Eyes closed, you felt the bed dip next to you. But even with them shut, you managed to slip a hand around her waist and pull her close into a hug. "Thank you for finishing the drive." You mumbled. Not noting how your warm breath fanned her neck.

JJ was dumbfound in this moment. She didn't expect you to be a touchy person, at all. Mostly because of how distant you still seemed from the team, yet how close you had managed in the three years you had been there.

So this is how your hugs felt.

She was always able to count how many times she's seen you hug someone. The first was when the team saved Reid from Tobias Hankle. You were basically the first one to really hold him (even if it went long than expected). The second time was Penelope when she got shot. The third and final was Emily and Reid after Benjamin Cyrus. Now the fourth time was here, in this bed. With her.

The blonde wasn't going to let this moment go to waist, eager to get a picture of your still form, but when she moved you groaned. "No pictures. Let's just nap." You mumbled, lips moving against the smooth skin of her neck. You could feel her pulse on your lips.

"But how will anyone believe that you are a hugger?" She softly laughed at your antics. Her arms tightening around you as you tried to push her away now. It only made her laughter grow along with her hold. "Be a good girl and accept it," her words were in your ear and they were low and tantalizing. Yet you stopped moving instantly. Your body just going limp in her arms as she hummed contently. "Wasn't so hard now was it?"

You waited a second, " no," you managed. "But I think you enjoyed that a bit too much." You weren't afraid to be smart with her, the most she could do was push you off the bed.

JJ opted for crawling onto you however. Using her hand in your hair to roll you onto your back as she stared down at you. A magnetic smirk that you wanted to be pulled into to on her lips. "And what if I did? Hmm? You listened to me didn't you?"

Your eyes widened as your cheeks burnt up. You managed to sigh out your whimper thankfully. "That's cause you're strong and had a good hold." You conjured up something, anything. The way she said she did like it had clogged the gears in your head and you felt stupid the moment the words left your mouth.

"Well who wouldn't want to hold a sweet little thing like yourself? Can you really blame me?" JJ kept going. Her finger tips ghosting your skin so smoothly that you didn't know anything. "Even now, look at you."

Your heart was hammering in your chest, this couldn't be real. There's no way in this universe or the next that she's looking at you like she's about to eat you in one go, and she'll look pretty while doing it. "What about me?" You whispered, cursing yourself for sounding so meek. You were honestly struggling to think clearly.

JJ only flashed her canine teeth in a wide smile before getting off you. Slipping away from you entirely and just opening her suitcase to rummage through it. You were watching her while propped up in your elbows.

"I'm gonna shower so I can start on my hair at least before getting ready. Wash the car ride off my body, ya' know?" She had pulled out a few articles of clothing before entering the bathroom.

Well...that sobered you up enough. Which was in pro to pregaming, but you still decided to take at least fifteen minutes to sleep. Which was even better for your pregaming because everything settled through the nap.

You had eyed the mini bar when walking in and decided to start there. Grabbing a glass and ice from the freezer. You made yourself a pineapple mojito. That's when you realized that it was a perfectly stocked bar, mostly because when you picked up white rum there was a note from Rossi.

'I told you I knew you better than you thought. Enjoy your mixologist heaven - Dave'

You practically squealed in excitement and made JJ a drink as well. Finishing it up right as she came out, you were sipping yours as you extended your hand to her.

"Oh you were serious?" She raised her brows in shock. She was beginning to think you didn't process alcohol at all. "What's this?"

"Pineapple mojito. Dave gave me a full mini bar to drink from and there are several nights of this to come. So, you gonna keep up Jareau?" You quirked an eyebrow to her now. This was the confidence you need twenty minutes ago.

Her lips wrapped around the thin black straw and she took her first sip. Her blue eyes never leaving yours. She was glad she didn't look away, the growing smile on your face was worth it. Even if it came with a mischievous glint in your eyes.

As she lowered her glass you only slipped by her with your glass. Grabbing what you needed for your own shower. You were on your knees, the carpet feeling inviting under you.

You were oblivious to JJ standing right behind you. Her slender fingers slipped into your hair and she tugged slightly, sighing when your head pulled back and you made eye contact. "What else can you do?" She brought the straw to her lips. You mirrored her.

"I'm a self-trained mixologist. If that counts for anything?" You were joking suddenly. Two shots while making the drinks wasn't that smart (well it was for the pros of pregaming). You looked back to your suitcase, giggling at the secret personality they were about to witness.

The blonde couldn't tear her eyes off of you as you grabbed at fabrics and stood up. Take a finishing sip of your glass before staring up at her. "That's one, two happens in the shower." You showed her your empty glass.

It took JJ by surprise how fast you could drink. Even more for how fast you could mix up another drink. You took it with you to the bathroom, fully ready to go in, until you noted your lack of speaker. So like anyone else, you slipped your big shirt back over and went back to your bag. You ignored how quiet the room was even when you found it. You just turned on the device and began your playlist.

Fifteen more minutes had passed, giving you an hour to get ready. You slipped out the bathroom with everything in hand. Your hair was wrapped up, exposing how little the silk dress really was on you.

Right before starting your makeup, you had to make the third drink. It was routine at this point. You sang and danced loosely to the bar. Missing the way the three woman noted how free you were. How in your own world you could be.

"That's her third drink." JJ had mentioned to them. She had just dented her second one. "And she's a heavy pourer." She passed the glass around, both having reactions to how strong it was.

"Oh my- she's gonna kill us." Emily was genuinely worried. "Do we stop her?"

"No!" Penelope stopped the thought from being discussed. "This is the first night she's going to open up. I want secrets. And she's going to actually let us see her drunk."

Meanwhile you had finished your third drink and makeup. Smirking to yourself in the mirror as you knew what time it was. Princess Pregame was coming to shine the moment you were at the mini bar.

You slipped into safe green heels and grabbed the matching purse. Decorating yourself in jewelry before moving your party to the kitchen.

The playlist switched and you finally met the eyes of three women. "Good evening ladies, welcome to the pregame party." You wore a huge smile while gesturing to the other side of the counter. Pleased when they lined up. "Now, I don't know how you all like to party, but I like to start with a vicious shot." You raised four tiny glasses and a bottle.

To say they were instantly hooked onto this character was an understatement. The glasses clicked as you all threw back. You were already at the point that taste seemed irrelevant.

"Now, as for your predrink. I'm thinking," you started over by Emily. "Something strong for a strong woman. Now, I personally ignore the rules of mixing dark and light. Hangover, bangover honestly." You poured four dark shots before making Emily's drink. Handing her the glass and raising the small cups again.

Next was Penelope. "You, sugar, are in for the worst of it with me. I'll start you sweet, but don't be oblivious to how much is actually in here." You had made some sort of pink drink, along with four clear shots. "This is gonna be an eventful vacation!" You all threw back.

Last was JJ. Your cheeks heated as she stared in wonder at you. You leaned to match her pose, pushing your hips back to make a perfect angle. Your back curving graciously to their view. "What to do with a sweet little thing like yourself?" You imitated her from earlier. Your challenging smirk telling her you knew she was powerless here. "I'm thinking...savory. But with what, light or dark?" You turned to see what selection you still had. Eyes narrowing on the aged tequila. "Yes!" You exclaimed before mixing. Laughing lightly to yourself. "Jennifer Jareau, for being to sexy and distracting, I'm serving you a restraining order." You slid the orange cocktail over.

Now all three had a drink you felt something missing. "Oh and me! For myself, I'm thinking, something dirty." You eyed the pink bottle from Penelope's drink and decided. "Kinky blow pop." You nodded.

"I'm sorry what's your drink called?" Emily laughed, throwing her head back. "Kinky blow pop?"

"Yes. Kinky blow pop. You're drinking Whiskey smash, Pen's on a larger version of wet pussy shots, and JJ is on restraining order. Do most drinks I know how to make come with funny names, yeah but it's not my fault I like funny things." You rambled while mixing. Raising the pink glass and smiling. "To vacation ladies! What happens in Florida, stays in Florida!"

~

You felt a little silly stumbling back into the hotel, but with Penelope giggling beside you it didn't seem to bother you as much. Once by the elevator that's when you had all seemed to begin to part ways. Seeing as you all were kinda scattered about.

You and Penelope hugged everyone one last time before Emily and JJ were pulling you apart and to separate elevators. "She's a party, honestly love that woman. I love women in general but man Penelope knows how to party." You were star struck at the memories blurring through from the night.

"So it seems do you, that the type of drunk you were warning me about?" She wasn't as drunk as you were, actually you weren't even sure if she was drunk or not. You stopped watching her drink her sips when she caught you gawking.

Your hair shook over your face, "no that's only the start. There's still wine down to the night. Does the kind madam care to join me and try something new?" You had a daring gleam.

"And what does your wine down include?" She asked you, confused as what you were leading with. Each second that passed, another floor had gone by.

"It's a way to just truly feel everything you've drank and then some. Usually I do it alone but, since you're here with me," you knew even while wasted how your words were coming out. You knew you were being insinuating. Even in the gleam of your iris, you knew how to play these games.

The elevator dinged open and you lured her with one finger. You lead her right to the bedroom, pointing at the bed while you disappeared into the bathroom. Then back out, then back in with two wine glasses. Five minutes of silence pass and you're coming out in a robe gesturing for the blonde to follow you. "You can say no by the way, take the glass if anything."

JJ was greeted by a bath full of bubbles and steam coming off. "Your wine down is a bubble bath?"

"And wine. Can't forget the wine part of wine down. It feels nice to be naked, warm, and drunk. Clearly you've never tried it if you're asking questions." Your words were in a mix of sly and mumbles.

She went to say something but you were already slipping out the robe. Sinking in on one side and humming contently. Eyes closed as you just began to get lost in the feeling. The black void was even spinning.

JJ stood on the door and witness every expression. Her eyes moved on their own and stared at the small ink markings around your body. Her mind was still trying to figure out if this was the drunk you were warning her about? Was she going to meet this woman or was she a secret to be kept away forever?

Florida. Florida rules.

The deal whispered through her mind and suddenly JJ's bare body was sliding in behind yours. Not what you were expecting, you figured she sit across from you. You were too lost in the new skin to skin contact to protest.

Not too lost though, you still processed how her hands ran across your waist as she pulled you back into her. Her bare chest pushing into your back made your spinning pick up.

JJ's skilled fingers began working into your sides, massaging them so good your head just rolled back to her shoulder. You even let out a hum as you just felt your body melting into hers. She was so warm and inviting.

"Your skins so smooth, hun. You always do this?" She purred in your ear. Sending a shock down your spine.

"Self care is the second best care."

"And what's the first?"

"Aftercare."

There was a rocket in the tension. Her hands had stopped gliding across your abdomen, they stilled right under your boobs. You let a sigh slip out, and suddenly you were leaning forward. A subtle trail of coldness followed her fingertips as the hovered your ribs.

"Have you ever gotten any? Given any?" Your body made the effort to turn and stare into her eyes.

JJ blamed you being intoxicated for that pleading glint deep in your eyes. "Both a few times, given more than anything."

"Mm..I like that in a woman. Did you know that?" Your head tilted slightly over, staring at her in a newer angle. You came closer to her and her hands were back on you, this time holding your hips underwater.

"I did not. Does that mean you like me?" She quirked a challenging brow to you. Her answer was just a wide, blushing smile. It made her chuckle lowly. "So you're a tease when drunk?"

The word snapped something in your focus into place. "And what would you know about how I tease?" You were quick with your response, daring to get closer to her.

The sky blues seemed to darken with a storm as they narrowed at you. Silently asking if this was really the road you wanted to take tonight. However, even if it was JJ would never do anything while you were this drunk. What she was going to do was explore this new personality that Florida had brought out.

"Oh baby, I could tease you in ways you have never thought of. But we should get to bed, you should sleep some of this off before starting again tomorrow. And we'll grab breakfast so you have something to base your stomach." She threw out the morning plans while using her hand on your hip to push you back down.

Your eyes never left hers even as she stood up. You focused on your peripheral view as the soap suds began to slide down her body. Then she stooped down to your still kneeled form, a sinister smirk ready to corrupt your very being. "You look so pretty like this...on your knees for me... and god, those eyes how they beg for me.." Her pauses were filled with a lewd moan or gasp. "I can't wait to pull out those other sides you're hiding."

The blonde was gone as quick as she had been there, leaving you for only a second before coming back with a towel. You stayed silent as you complied with her help. "Are we...I dunno..." your thought was lost the moment she stopped to meet your gaze.

"Are we what, hun? Drunk? You more than me." She furrowed her brows. Getting ready to lead you out but you frowned and shook your head. "Well if you can remember while getting situated you can ask."

~

The warmth of Florida filled the room as you stirred awake. Getting ready to stretch your body fully out when you felt the weight of someone on your arms.

Oooh you knew exactly what you were about to open your eyes to. You easily pieced the trip, hangover, and body all together. Your left eye peeked open, finding the blonde already looking at you. Instantly you shut your eyes. "Oh...oh my god..."

"Good morning to you too hun, feeling last night yet?" She was already teasing you about it. Your eyes weren't even open and she was already joking.

"You would too if you had kept up..." your voice was filled with tiredness as you grumbled. Your head was still tucked down, and into JJ's chest.

You could feel the laughter rumble in her. It might've become your favorite feeling in the world. "I'll keep up with you for girls night. I want to see what your world looks like at the club."

This made your head pop up. A wide smile plastering your plush lips, "really? All the way from the first shot to the last sip?"

"Now it sounds like you're going to kill me." She furrowed her brows with a worried look gracing through her happiness. "It's what a few shots and some drinks for pre-pregame? I can handle it."

You tried to contain your sudden eagerness. "We should get breakfast." You switched the topic while propping yourself up. Now you laid on your stomach and rested on your elbows. Hair tossed over so you could actually look at the blonde.

JJ was enjoying already seeing you first thing in the morning. You seemed so loose and care free in this moment. Like you weren't awake enough to put on any masking personality. This was your raw self staring at her. "Derek is grilling on the beach for us today. They're already up and moving, but you were against getting up."

"That's cause we're on vacation. I'm not supposed to be getting woken up after drinking all night. But I do like the sounds of burgers so we should get up now." You were up before your sentence finished. Standing on the side and stretching your body out in the mirror. You were growing more excited to bask in the sun all day. Letting its yellow rays kiss against your skin.

JJ just gawked as you stood in nothing but a big t-shirt and panties. Her eyes lingered and your ass before jumping to your face in the mirror. She crawled over, knowing you could see her approaching and accepting it as you stood exactly still. "I don't know, maybe we should stay here all day and do nothing." She rose on her knees, arms wrapping comfortably around your waist and her head on your shoulder. "Clothes optional? Talk about those little tattoos?"

Your cheeks flushed but it was in contrast to your laugh. "What? Saw me naked in a bath one time and now you can't get enough?" You bite back bravely. Laughing even more at her shocked face. "Maybe Jareau, maybe you'll manage something this trip."

And as soon as you were in her hold and comparing her natural warmth to the same sun you'd thought about moment before, you were slipping away to begin getting ready.

Grabbing a hand full of pieces before finding your way into the bathroom. It gave JJ the chance to change out in the room as well. From her silk pajamas into her peach bikini. Covering it with a regular pair of jean shorts and a loose button up shirt she left open and tucked in.

Meanwhile, you had returned in a beige and green outfit. The top was brown and tied at the back of your neck. Paired with a flowing sage green skirt. It hung low on you, but your brown bottoms hung lower. Your hair was still down, but JJ didn't seem to think that an issue.

"Do you have the sunscreen or are they bringing it?" You were once again in your bag and pulling out sandals this time. Not paying much attention, honestly you were really looking forward to this burger, but you had almost ran into the blonde roommate.

Her hands in her pockets as she tried to not eat you right here while you look this cute. "That's a nice top, where's your cover up though?" She knew the answer already, but confronting you would give her something to tease out. Her eyes catching the smallest glimpses of ink.

"I practically glow in the sun, and I could use it. It's all I plan to do while sitting on the beach with my burger." You seemed in an extremely better mood once those burgers were mentioned.

JJ noticed it too as she just chuckled before giving you space to move again. Pulling a small beach bag out for both your stuff. You had put in headphones, sunglasses, and tanning lotion. Completely ignoring your phone over in the bedside table.

~

By two, you were practically drunk again with Penelope right by your side. Watching from a far all your friends have fun while the burgers slowly cooked.

"Ok, real talk, how drunk are you willing to get tonight?" Penelope had turned to you, blocking the sun with her hand. "Because last night you seemed pretty drunk."

"Last night is a horrible example of where I can get. I'm going toe-to-toe with the blondie over there. She won't drink with us now though, claims it'll ruin it for when after I take my nap to sleep all this off." You pointed to the cooler that had a variety of cocktails and drinks. "She's gonna know too much of my personality by the end of this trip."

"Hey! I wanna meet this personality! What does she know?" Penelope had whined. "Maybe we should've shared a room instead."

You laughed, "she knows that I'm truthful about my pre-pregame. She didn't know I did shots between while making the first drinks. Also she finally met me when I first wake up."

"Oh I love you when you first wake up! You're so sweet and warm. It's the perfect contrast to your mysterious work personality. Has she really never seen it before?" She took another sip of her melted, but still cool Bahama Mama. Smirking when your head shook no. "I bet she likes it. She got a subtle mess to her, but it's there."

"What? Penelope Garcia what do you know to say that?" Your eyes narrowed but playfully you were laughing. "I don't doubt it. I actually don't doubt that we'll kiss at least once. Too much tension."

Penelope squealed the moment 'tension' left your lips. Causing the group to turn from the water. The two of you were staring at each other deep in a conversation to them. But then they watched as you pulled a bottle of tequila out and poured out four shots. Passing two to the tech analysis before bringing limes and salt into view.

"Where was all that even at?" Emily couldn't tear her eyes away from the shore. Honestly feeling left out for not drinking with you both. "Also listen, the amount of drinks that thing can put down is insane. Cause that's not the agent I know and work with."

"Well no shit, she's not gonna drink on the job." Derek joked, raising a challenging look to the other. "You think they'll get in anytime soon?"

Spencer was quick to start giving a fact about drinking in heat and swimming. It was slowly dropping out however as they really watched you both take the shots like water. "Ya know, it's really interesting that they're still going in the sun is all I'm saying."

The four agreed and started heading back up. One with the intent to see how drunk you two actually were, and two to check lunch.

"Oh I see sobriety coming to crash our party." You tilted your head over, a sigh escaping your lips. "Before they get up here, I'm going to go to the bathroom and break my seal." You hummed out.

"Ooh let me come with you!" Penelope spoke, getting up without really letting you answer. You would've said yes anyways, it's her how could you say no to anything.

You both were moving before they got back to the towels, arms looped as you swayed to the small bathroom together. It was really only five minutes tops, or so you thought.

"It's crazy you two could spend ten minutes in there." Emily was assembling her burger before you.

Penelope had began to respond, but you were too busy rushing to JJ who was holding up a burger already for you. "Oh. Em. Gee." You beamed while settling next to her. "Y'all see this right here? This a mean burger and it's going down in my tummy." You showed off the plate.

There was a light conversation that carried you all through lunch. Some chip ins from you and Penelope as you mostly stayed silent and just focused on eating. You were proud to say that was the best drunk burger you've ever had.

After cleaning up, there was still a few more hours before you had to head back. From what had been mentioned, they were getting back in the water. "Are you two gonna join us or keep drinking?" Derek had raised the ball they were throwing around up.

"That's if they can keep themselves afloat." Emily poked your arm and watched as you so simply wobbled just from it. "Put some floaties on, Tanner."

You groaned at the name. "First of all, I'm a sun bather. Second of all, floaties ruin my glowing complex."

"What's a glowing complex?" Reid furrowed his brows, hearing a term he didn't fully understand what context it was in.

Without a second word, you were standing away from the group and literally glowing in the sun. The beams reflected off your skin just perfectly to give you the effect. But before you started to loose yourself in the warmth of the sun, you returned to the group.

"When I retire I'm gonna find the warmest place to live and sit on the beach every single day." You pointed out. "But I'm going to stay on the dry lands and keep drinking."

"Sugar, the water will feel good on your sunny skin. Help cool it from the hours of heat and drinking." Penelope protested though. "If not at least put more sunscreen on." She pointed at the bottle as she left, chasing after the others to the water.

You sighed and followed suit. Finding comfort in the warm ocean water as you waded your way over. "This isn't that bad."

"Did you know you tan better in water anyways?" Reid dropped the fact so casually as him and Morgan tossed the ball. It was a light hearted game, one Spencer could keep up with.

"I knew that, did you know!" Penelope started up her own quips. Her drink finger pointed the attention to you. "Six tattoos." She ratted you out. "That's why when we went to the bathroom we took so long. I saw one and wanted to see them all."

"Oh so you got some ink on you?" Derek caught the ball and became interested. "What got a heart tattoo with mom in the middle?"

"Shut up," you splashed a little of water his way. "They're small and barely noticeable. All hidden by mostly everything I wear anyways. Also eight, not six."

"Where else?! You showed me your hip, two on your back, thigh, arm, ear. Where are the other two?" Penelope would've stripped you and fully inspected your body if it was just the two of you.

JJ smirked, "side of each boob." Her tone was cocky as it opened so many speculations between the two.

"Get your heads out the gutter, we're in the same room and she's seen my boobs. So have those two." You redirected the attention.

"Yeah but there weren't tattoos five months ago. So, spill the story of your boobs." Emily knew how to throw it back onto you.

You shook your head and scoffed, "I'm not telling the story of my boobs. No matter how great they are."

~

During girls night you did in-fact tell the story of your boob tattoos. Explaining how you made a bet with an old friend who came to visit once and made a drinking bet. She knew you had always wanted a tattoo there so it worked out.

What wasn't working out was how much, yet so little, clothing you had on still. Along with another night of smelling like an entire fruit bar of drinks. You need a shower and a nice comfy bed.

"Are you holding up ok?" JJ was right there, arm slithering around your waist. Unbeknownst to you, she was glaring down this other woman from the table. She wasn't oblivious to how her eyes roamed up your exposed back.

You shivered in her touch, "'m fine. We should go dance," you slurred. In your state, dancing would distract you from the need to be naked.

Suddenly Penelope and Emily came stumbling back to the table. "So turns out...Penelope has reached a newer level and we're both hungry. So we're heading back and ordering food, would you two like to join us?" Emily spoke most coherently.

JJ rolled her wrist to glance at her watch, it clicked just past midnight. "No..I think we're gonna call it as well. No clue how she manages to act sober after all that drinking."

"It's a miracle you're still up with her." Emily nudged her arm. "We'll see you guys probably Wednesday for the beach day." They bid goodbyes, catching the first taxi they could back to the hotel.

When the blonde turned to face you, she was met by no one. Where had you gone? Her eyes jumped through the crowd, doing her best to pick you out. And when she did catch sight of you, her body heated as her eyes narrowed at the woman dancing with you.

You however, didn't seem to care for the tall ginger in green. Your eyes were lazily trained to JJ, willing her to come to you and sway with you. A tiny grin tugged on your lips as she did come up to you.

"Baby there you are, you can't disappear like that." She grabbed you, more firmly than before, and brought you in close.

"I told you...dance." Your arms wrapped around her neck and shoulders as your body moved with the music against her. "Tomorrow...I don't want to do anything but lay in bed." You spoke right under her ear. "Unfortunately will think I'm skipping wine down. I might throw up in the morning."

"That concerns me. What happened to be a pro at holding your alcohol?" She kept you in her space, hands tracing your exposed spine. "Do you wanna go now? It's past midnight as is."

You sighed and then looked at her, "can I tell you something? Something really secretive?" You were wearing such a glazed look. If you were sober-ish you'd question how JJ isn't as drunk as you.

"How bout in the morning, hmm? Let's get back and call it a night." She shushed you.

That night she did get you back into your suite, but after that she let you move on your own. She followed behind just in case you did start going down though. You didn't, you mumbled something about how you'd never go down no matter what. All while stripping from the makeup and fabrics that covered your entire body. You had crawled into bed in a tank top and your panties. Blacking out almost instantly once you hit the mattress.

~

"JJ," was out your lips before your eyes opened. "Is there a garbage can next to my side of the bed?"

"No, baby get to the bathroom." She hummed, helping you get up and to the toilet before you missed.

The morning was already an indicator of your day strictly in bed. Even once you had cleaned yourself up and flipped back into the covers. "Oh my god...I've never drank that much."

"You sent Penelope home barely conscious." JJ sat on your hips, massaging your shoulders. The sensation caused a subtle moan to slip through your lips. "You like that?" She whispered.

You hummed your approval, "what about you? You managed to get us back to the hotel." You felt her lips press into your spine, right over your tattoo.

"In confession, once I had noted how drunk you were I began to slow down and drink waters. You hardly noticed when I was giving you sips." Her hands were working so perfectly into your skin. They were warm and caring about what they were doing. "But it was for our safety in the long run. Now that I know that's what your nights are like, you're never leaving a girls night alone."

"What? Like you're gonna come home with me and sleep with me more often?" You rested your head on the side while looking back to her. She was already so close to your face.

"Wouldn't be the worst thing to happen would it?" She pressed her lips to your cheek next. Feeling them heat up instantly.

"You're a bigger tease than I am!" You exclaimed once your thoughts came reeling back. You did your best to flip over without loosing her against your hips.

She shook her blonde waves though, "a tease is all bark baby. I have bite and with how you keep looking at me, I intend to use it once before this trip ends."

Your chest started to rise and fall heavily. Shallower. Your eyes widen with need. With lust. "Who says once will be enough to suffice the both of us?"

"It never would be, I can tell you that now. If I got just one taste," her eyes flickered to your lips. Stalking your tongue as it darted out to wet them. The blue snapped back up.

The both of you stared at each other with intensity. It was you who closed the gap and tugged her down closer. Pouring ounces of passion into such a subtle action. The kiss itself only lasted a few seconds, but you could've sworn it had been minutes.

"Oh sharing a room with you just got a whole lot more interesting." She wore a Cheshire grin staring down at you. "I'll be gentle...when I want to be." She winked before snaking down your body.

There was a moment of silence when she stood on the side. She was placed right between your legs as your cheeks flushed meeting her lustful gaze. You could only think she'd be gentle with you. How soft her touches could be while still bringing you over again and again and again.

"You wanna order lunch to the room?" She dropped the tension. Yet you could see it in the way her canine flashed that this was just putting a pause to whatever had started.

"That'll take like thirty minutes." You propped yourself up on your elbows. "I'll be really hungry by then."

"I think we can figure something out to distract you." She winked. You smiled and waited silently as she placed the order. "Hi! Can we get..." she began but you couldn't help yourself. JJ stood staring at you in nothing but boxers and a blue button up. It was tempting you to undo each one. She was tempting you.

You crawled over to kneel up to her. Placing soft kisses to the corner of her lips before trailing them back to her ear then down the column of her neck. Relishing in her soft gasp between her words. Your fingers worked slyly at the buttons like you wished. "Yes, to room 273. Thank you so much!" She finished up and instantly sunk her fingers into your hair. "It'll be her in about thirty." She hummed lowly, like it was a warning to you.

Yet you missed it. You couldn't get enough of her, and it showed the moment you got to the last button and dropped lower on your knees. Placing open mouth kisses to her sternum. Feeling her heart beat only a few inches away. Your lips moved towards her boob and that's when she caught you. "Oh baby, that's a reward if you're good for me."

She met you in a more heated kiss that made your head spin and start to slip into a buzzed state. "I'll be good..." you mumbled into her. Staring wide eyed as she leaned away just slightly.

"I know you will, sweet girl. You've been waiting for this moment, haven't you? You wouldn't want to jeopardize it all now with some silly behavior. Would you?" She flashed that canine once more. Your brows furrowed, did she know more than she let on? "Dave gave us all very different gifts. Yours was a mini bar, mine was getting to rile you up in a shared suite on the opposite side of the hotel from everyone else. Meaning I could make you scream, shout, whatever I want and the team will never know."

Your heart was beating within your ears, your chest, and between your legs. She knew of your little crush all on her own...and she wanted to rile you up. "Please..." you gasped. It was like a wave of air hit you as your brain caught up finally. "Fuck JJ, please I want you so bad. Anything. Just say what."

"Oh there she is. So this is what you're like truly. A sweet little thing who just needs a good fucking. I should've know." Her warm hand cupped your cheek, "well, mommy's here now to help." You moaned at the self given title. Eyes widening into nothing but pupil. "Baby you just keep getting sweeter, don't you? Let's get you comfortable hmm? Out these pajamas so I can take a look at you."

Your head nodded and you fiddled with the hem of the tank, pulling it over your head but never breaking eye contact. Your cheeks turned pink as her eyes freely glanced down. You had stilled after that, leaving you in just the black panties as you settled yourself in the center of the bed by the top.

JJ had circled to the end, crawling over, no, stalking over your practically bare body. "Where do I even start with you? Where should I start with you?" You missed how the second question was asking for your opinion. She chuckled and joined you on the bed, on all fours coming to hover you. "Maybe I'll make my way down," she mocked your kisses from earlier.

Her chest had brushed against yours causing a whimper to slip through finally. "Mm..please," you sighed out as her lips wrapped around your left nipple.

All her actions had halted though, her eyes boring into yours. "Yes what, sweet thing?" She wanted to hear it from your lips.

Her fingers dragged along the waistband of the black fabric, settling in the middle and pulling them down slowly. Taunting your needs. "Please...mommy..." it was silent. You were lingering on the title. Trying to let it simmer in your own mind. After another beat, "mommy please, go down on me." Your hips bucked into her hand.

You'd never seen JJ smile like this. It was wide, caring, yet it was dark and cunning. You were about to be in for the ride of your life. She pressed a kiss to your lips. Kissing her way down your body once more, fingers in the waistband dragging them down and off your legs. Only to kiss from your ankles up and settling between your thighs. She looked so pretty going down on you.

You'll never forget how tender the touch of her lips was. It seared itself into your skin and made you crave for more. You wanted to wonder how many times you'll experience this. How much longer will she be gentle with you? Thoughts were disrupted the first swipe of her tongue.

"Fuck," you gasped inwards. She had done so little to work you up and yet you already felt on edge. Even as your hips wriggled, you just only felt on edge. She was licking you up so simply that it wasn't enough to push you anywhere.

"All worked up for nothing," her arm bridged over your hips, pinning them against the mattress, picking up her pace only slightly. "God, baby I could stay here forever."

You whined and arched up, desperate for more always. "More, mmm' need more mommy."

More she gave you, loosing the softness of her touch into devouring you. Suddenly she was flattening her tongue against you and sucking more of you in. Bringing her free hand around and slipping two tender fingers into your dripping hole. They curled perfectly and moved fast and deep. She hummed in approval as your whines had turned into full volume moans.

You heard her spit down against you, "oh and after lunch..I'm gonna fuck you so deep with my strap baby. I'll have you a mess all day long. Begging mommy to ease up, and when you do it'll be slow each time I work you over the edge." She was thinking out loud and it only fueled your senses to be so sensitive.

She dipped back down, giving a few last hard sucks before she felt you begin to quiver. "Like that...just like that mommy!" You came with a silent moan and your hand tangled into her blondes waves.

JJ gave a few more licks, just enough till your hand was pushing her away. Then she came and kissed your glistening temples. "Yeah, once is not going to be enough." You were still a bit fogged by the orgasm and the new look of mommy next to you. "Are you ok sweet thing?"

You didn't say much, just rolled into her side and made effort to roll her to face you. "Reward.." you mumbled. Not exactly sure what you were asking for. But when the blonde complied, you had pushed her shirt off her body and kissed over her heartbeat. Resting your ear right against it. "How long have you known?"

"That you'd have a mommy kink?" She poked your side before resting her hand against it. You chuckled out a 'shut up'. "When you drunkenly texted me you canceled a hot hipster threesome for me the night you came over and got absolutely hammered with me."

Your head popped up, "oh my god, did I really?!" You were finally back from your haze. Mortified now laced in your eyes. Her head nodded. "And you never told me?!"

"I didn't know how! I just left it as drunk confessions, the ones we never talk about." She kissed your hairline.

Just then a knock occurred at your door. Your smile widened and you couldn't help the sudden rush of energy. You reached over and grabbed the blue shirt and fiddled with the buttons. "You're lucky you were pretty going down on me, Jareau."

Finishing the last one before reaching the door and opening it. Only it wasn't room service. It was Emily and Penelope. "We wanted to join in on your lazy day. After last night...and rumor is, you two got the best suite." Penelope babbled, not recognizing the clear fucked out look you had going on.

"Oh....well we just ordered room service and still gotta get even semi ready for the day." You tried to divert it, knowing Emily had taken note of your tousled hair.

She smirked at JJ who had came up behind you in one of your t-shirts. "Penelope, maybe we should spend the day by the pool. Or maybe another day on the beach before dinner. These two look like they had just as much of a night as us."

"Or morning," you heard JJ's whisper so quietly. You could just sense the grin begin to plaster her lips. "But yes, this one woke up and first thing was that toliet."

"Oh my god, don't spill my business!" You turned to nudge her away. Rolling your eyes once you spun back to the two others. "Maybe we'll catch you guys before dinner though? No serious pregame, just a sip and chat before."

"Deal." Penelope finalized. She was leading off after a final glance over you and JJ. It wasn't till they turned the corner she pieced it together. "Oh...oh Emily..those two-"

"Oh yeah, for sure." She cackled at the blondes realization. They all knew it was bound to happen on this trip.

Meanwhile you and JJ shared your own laugh in the room. Pointing at the shirts that clearly belonged to the other as you headed back to bed.

You pressed a kiss to her cheek, "you really brought a strap?" Your eyebrows had quirked.

JJ smirked at you and hugged you closer. "I guess you'll find out after lunch." She returned the kiss.

That day you did find out a lot about yourself and JJ, but you wouldn't change it for the world. You'd mentioned to thank Rossi when you all got back, maybe he did know you better than what you'd believed. What else did he know?

[winchesterwild78]

Daddy’s Girl pt 2

Master List

Characters: Dean Winchester x Reader (wife), Dean and Reader’s daughter, other characters from Supernatural

Warnings: a little angst, lots of fluff

A/N: Another collab story with @cheekygirl2309. This chapter starts out a little angsty and has some surprises along the way. 

This is a work of fiction and does not follow the Supernatural storyline. I do not own the rights to the characters used.

All work is my own and @cheekygirl2309, don’t take it or use it as your own. Reblogs and likes are appreciated. 

Minors DNI 18+

The next few days I still felt Dean’s uneasiness from his dream. He of course tried to hide it, but knowing him for as long as I have I know when he’s hiding something. 

It was early in the morning when I woke up to an empty bed. Delilah was still sleeping. I stretched and grabbed my robe. 

I found Dean in the kitchen. He looked exhausted and was nursing a cup of coffee. His green eyes flicked up to mine and he smiled softly. 

“Hey baby. Want some coffee?” His voice was gruff and he sounded tired.

I nodded and grabbed a cup. As I walked past him I ran my hand over his shoulders. 

“Dean, are you okay? You looked exhausted.” “Yeah, I haven’t been sleeping well.” 

“Dean, have you been sleeping at all? I go to bed alone, and when I wake up you’re already gone. Honey, please talk to me.” I placed my hands on his. 

“I just can’t shake the dream from the other day. Everything I’ve ever loved, everyone I’ve loved ends up leaving or dying. I just wouldn’t survive if something happened to you or Delilah.” 

“Oh Dean, we aren’t going anywhere. We have Jack and Cas on our side. Plus you’ve trained me well enough to take care of myself and her. Baby, you have got to get some sleep. You’re no good to us if you’re exhausted. Plus you get a little cranky.” 

A smile formed on his face. He ran his fingers through his hair and looked up at me. “You’re right. I’m going to go lay back down. Want to join me?” He wiggled his eyebrows. 

“You and I both know if I go in there with you then neither of us are getting any sleep. Now you go in there and get some sleep. I’ll keep your little princess entertained while you sleep.” I kissed his lips and ushered him to bed. 

About an hour later Delilah was awake and kept trying to sneak off to see Dean. “Delilah Rose, daddy is very tired. He needs sleep and we have to leave him alone.” 

She stuck out her lip and pouted, “But I want to play with daddy. I miss him.” I chuckled, “Baby he won’t be asleep forever. He will wake up and the two of you can play then.”

She nodded and sat on the floor in the library. I walked in the kitchen to grab her something to drink and when I walked back to the library she was gone. 

I sighed, I knew where she was. I caught her before she got the door open. I whispered, “Delilah! I told you to leave daddy alone.” “But I miss my daddy so much. I rolled my eyes, these two are insufferable. 

“Delilah, what do you say we go to the park then go get stuff to make daddy an apple pie?” Her big green eyes sparkled and she nodded. 

“Okay, go grab your shoes and coat.” She ran to her room and grabbed her shoes and coat, returning to me. 

I helped her put them on. And I grabbed my coat. I left Dean a note on the kitchen counter and we left. 

We went to the park and played for a little bit. I could tell Delilah was still a little sad. Her and Dean loved coming to the park. She played for a little while longer and I told her we needed to get to the store and then back home. 

I reached for my phone and realized I didn’t have it. I sighed. It’s okay. I left him a note. He will be fine. He’ll give me crap about forgetting my phone, but he’s used to it.

Delilah and I went to the store and got the things we needed for the pie and headed towards the bunker. 

When we got home Delilah bounded down the stairs. I found Dean having a panic attack in the library. When he saw us he jumped up and scooped up Delilah and grabbed me in his arms.

“Oh my god I was so worried about you two. You weren’t here when I got up, I couldn’t find you and you didn’t answer your phone. Why didn’t you answer your phone?!” 

I saw the panic and tears in his eyes and it broke my heart. “Dean, honey. I left a note and I forgot my phone. I’m so sorry baby.” I pulled Delilah out of his arms, “Baby, go play in your room. Okay? I promise, Daddy is okay. He was just scared.” 

Dean moved past me and went into the Dean cave and sat on the couch. He started sobbing. It broke my heart to see him. I placed my hand on his bicep, “Dean, baby. It’s okay, we’re okay. I took her to the park and then to the store.” “I’m sorry, Y/N. That dream just rocked me to my core. I don’t know what I’d do if anything ever happened to you or her. You two are my life.” 

I touched his face and he leaned into my palm. “Dean, I know what we need to do to help you move past this.” I closed my eyes and prayed. A few minutes later Jack appeared. 

I stood and hugged him, “Hey Jack.” “Hello.” He smiled, then he saw Dean and his face fell.

“Dean is having a hard time right now. I figured he needed to hear from you. He had a dream that scared him the other day and he can’t shake it. He dreamed Delilah and I vanished and he couldn’t find us.”

“I see.” Jack said and looked over at Dean again. “How can I help?” “Can you reassure him we are going to be okay?” He smiled and walked over to Dean. “Y/N and Delilah are okay. They are not going anywhere. Well, Delilah will when she goes to college and gets married. She’s going to have two children and live a very long life. Y/N is going to have another baby in about a year and she is going to live a long life too. No demons, vampires or anything will hurt them. You have trained her well.” 

Dean’s eyes looked at Jack and then over at me. “Wait, what? I’m going to have another baby?” “Oh yes, a little boy. He will be like Dean.” I chuckled. “Well then I’m a very lucky girl.” 

I heard Dean let out a shaky breath. He hugged Jack and thanked him. Then he walked over to me and pulled me close, “I’m so sorry baby. I didn’t mean to worry you or Delilah.” “Dean, it’s okay. We know how much you love us, and you being scared and worried just proves it. Now where the heck did the note go that I left you?” 

“Where did you leave it?” “On the counter in the kitchen.” The two of us walked in the kitchen, I carried the groceries I left in the war room. I didn’t see the note. Dean looked around and found it on the floor almost under the stove. “It must have blown off the counter.” I nodded, “I’m sorry. I promise not to forget my cell anymore. I guess this was just a perfect storm.” He nodded and pulled me in his arms.

“So, another baby, a boy?” I smiled, “I guess so. I wonder when he will be here. Jack said within the next year, so I guess we haven’t made him yet.” 

Dean laughed, “Guess we need to get on that.” I playfully rolled my eyes. He kissed my lips softly and behind me I heard the sound of little feet. Dean smirked against my lips and pulled away.

We turned and saw Delilah peeking around the doorway. Dean bent down and held out his arms, “Come here my little pumpkin pie. I’m okay. I promise.” Delilah bounded into the kitchen and threw herself into his arms. 

She had her favorite stuffy, a squirrel holding a baby squirrel and handed it to Dean. “To help you feel better daddy.” He took it with tears pricking his eyes. “Thank you baby girl, but your hugs always make me feel better.” 

Dean wrapped her in his arms and held her tightly. 

I walked up to them and hugged them both. “Okay you two, out of my kitchen. I have something to do here and you both will be in the way.” I chuckled. Dean and Delilah feigned hurt. “Ouch babe, I guess the two of us will leave you then.” They laughed as they left the room.

The next few days things settled down and Dean was sleeping better. He smiled more and couldn’t stop thinking or talking about us having another baby. “Maybe we should ask Jack when the baby is born.” Dean said early in the morning. I shook my head, “Dean, no. We will find out just like everyone else. Everyone who doesn’t have a direct line to Heaven.”

He sighed, “Oh come on. Aren’t you just the least bit curious?” I nodded, “Yes, but you’re driving me crazy with it. If you want to know, then you call Jack and ask him. I want it to be a surprise.” I kissed his lips and started to climb out of bed. Dean pulled me back down into his arms. 

His lips on my neck as he held me flush to his chest. My back rested against him and his arms snaked around my body.

“Dean, we have to get up. You promised Delilah and daddy daughter day and you know she’s going to be up soon. What if she walks in here?”

Dean smirked and jumped out of bed, locking the door. A mischievous grin on his face, “There, problem solved.”

Dean climbed back in the bed and pulled my chest to his. “Now, where were we?” He started kissing my lips and down my neck. His hands trailed up my body and I arched my back, moaning. 

About half an hour later Dean and I were tangled in the sheets, trying to steady our breathing. “Mmm, that was amazing.” I said laying against him with my head and hand on his chest. 

“Aren’t you glad I locked the door.” He chuckled. “Yeah, I am. Now let’s get up so you can take our baby for her daddy daughter day.” 

“Yeah, I have to show her what to expect from a man so she never settles for less.” I smirked, “Well, you’re doing an amazing job of that.” I kissed his lips and got out of bed, getting dressed I tossed Dean his clothes. 

“Take a shower, I’ll get her up and ready.” He nodded and smiled, “Hey, Y/N?” I turned to face him, “Yes, Dean?” “I love you, Y/N.” I smiled, “I love you too, Dean. So much.” 

An hour later Dean and Delilah were loading up in the Impala. He hooked her in her carseat and her legs swung back and forth as her giggles filled the backseat. 

I kissed her head and kissed Dean goodbye. “You two have fun. Try not to eat too much junk and spoil your supper.” I winked at him. “We will try. I love you, Y/N.” “I love you too, Dean. Be careful and I’ll see you two later.” 

The Impala roared to life and I watched as the two of them drove away. I let out a breath and walked back into the bunker. 

I went to the Dean cave and started to clean. I made my way into Delilah’s room and then mine and Dean’s. I decided to strip the beds and do some laundry. 

I cleaned the bunker and pulled out a book to read. My phone rang as I sat down and saw it was Dean. I chuckled.

“Hello?” 

“Hey, sweetheart. We have a question for you.” 

“Okay, what is it?” 

“White or brown?”

I was confused. “What are you talking about? I need more context, Dean.” 

He chuckled, “Just answer the question, white or brown?”

“Um, white?” “Okay, thanks sweetheart. We love you. Remember that.” 

“Uhoh, what are you two up to?” 

I heard Dean and Delilah giggle, “Nothing. We will be home soon.” 

“Now I really am worried. I’ll see you two soon. Love you two.” 

“Love you too. Bye.”

Dean hung up and my curiosity piqued. What trouble could those two be up to now. I loved them going on daddy daughter dates, but sometimes they would get into mischief.

About thirty minutes later I heard the Impala pull into the garage. Dean and Delilah’s laughter filled the air. 

I sat my book down and waited for them. Dean was carrying Delilah and they walked into the library. 

“Hi Mommy. We’re back.” 

“Hi baby. I see that. Did you and daddy have fun?” 

Her green eyes twinkled, “The best. Daddy took me shopping and I got a new dress, then he took me to get ice cream and then we got you a surprise.” 

I smiled. “Well I can’t wait to see your dress. I bet it’s beautiful.” 

She smiled big, “Yes it is. It’s blue with stars on it. Daddy said I’m his angel so I needed a star dress.” 

I looked over at Dean and he was grinning. She definitely has him wrapped around her finger. 

“Mommy, are you ready for your surprise? We’re gonna give it to her now, right Daddy?” Dean nodded. 

“Wait here mommy. Daddy and I will be right back.” 

I smiled and my heart beat wildly. What were these two up to. Before Dean left the room to chase after her he looked at me and smiled, “Remember we love you and this is something we need.” 

“Oh lord. I can’t imagine what it is.” He chuckled. “I’ll be back.” He kissed me and went back towards the garage. 

I could hear Delilah’s giggles fill the air. I knew I was in trouble. 

“Mommy, close your eyes please.” 

“Okay baby. They are closed.” 

I could hear her and Dean walk back into the room. Then I felt a heavy box on my lap. 

“Okay open your eyes sweetheart.” 

I opened them to find a big brown box on my lap. “Open the box mommy.” 

Delilah squealed in delight. 

I carefully lifted the lid. A little apprehensive of what was in the box. I gasped. I looked up at Dean and then at Delilah. 

“Oh my goodness, are you serious?!” Dean grinned, “Yeah. We saw it and immediately thought about you.” 

“Oh my gosh Dean. This is perfect.”

In the box looking up at me was a beautiful white terrier mix puppy with big blue eyes. I had one as a child and she got hit by a car. I had mentioned to Dean years ago how I always wanted one especially for Delilah. 

I pulled the puppy out of the box and held her tight. “She’s beautiful, Dean and Delilah. Thank you.” 

She was perfect and so sweet. Giving the best kisses and falling asleep on my lap. I lazily rubbed her head as I talked to Dean about a name. 

“She needs a name. Something fitting.” Dean nodded. I looked at him and smirked, “I know. How about, baby?” 

Dean looked at me and shook his head, “Nope. There’s only room for one baby in the family and she’s in the garage.” Delilah looked at Dean, “No daddy, it’s me.” 

I laughed,”She’s got you there Dean.” He playfully rolled his eyes. “You’re my little pumpkin pie.” 

“But I’m also your baby.” He nodded and pulled her in his lap, “You’ll always be my baby girl.” 

She put her arms around his neck and kissed his cheek, “And you’ll always be my daddy.” 

Dean’s smile grew. 

“Okay guys, seriously we have to give this little girl a name.” I said holding the puppy. 

Dean smirked, “What about, dog?” 

I raised an eyebrow, “Uh no. Good thing we have to agree on our children’s names. Delilah might have ended up being named “girl”.” I laughed. 

“Hey, I think I picked a beautiful name for our girl.” “Yes you did, Dean.”

“Well you said no to “baby” what about "Angel "?" 

Dean looked at me and shook his head. 

Delilah looked up from her coloring book, “Bubbles”. 

Dean chuckled, “What? You can’t name a dog “Bubbles”.” 

I looked at him and then at her. “It’s a great name, baby girl.” 

“But daddy doesn’t like it.” She hung her head. 

Dean closed his eyes and took a deep breath, “No baby, mommy is right. It’s a great name.” 

“You mean it daddy?” Her green eyes searching his. “Yes, I love it.” 

“Yay! Can we call her Bubbles?” 

I smiled and nodded. Dean just shook his head and sighed. 

Delilah left to go take her coloring book and crayons in her room and I stood up with Bubbles and hugged Dean. 

“See, I told you. She had you wrapped around your finger.” 

“Don’t I know it. Now I have a dog named Bubbles. What kind of badass Hunter has a dog named Bubbles?!” 

I laughed, “One who would do anything to make his little girl happy.” 

I kissed his lips softly and walked towards the kitchen. 

“We need to get some things for the dog. Like food, a bed, food and water bowl, and some toys.” I looked at Dean as I sat Bubbles down. 

��Already taken care of. It’s in the car. I’ll go grab it.” I nodded. 

As Dean made his way to the car he heard the tapping of paws behind him. Bubbles was following him. 

“Bubbles, Jeez I can’t believe that’s your name. You have to go back inside. Don’t follow me.” 

The dog turned her head like she was listening to him and sat down. 

“Good, now stay.” Bubbles stood up and wagged her tail and as Dean walked she followed. Dean stopped and looked. Bubbles wagged her tail. 

Dean shook his head. He walked to the car and got out the stuff he bought at the pet store. Bubbles followed behind. 

He returned to the kitchen with his arms full. I chuckled when I saw Bubbles following closely behind him. “Looks like you’ve got a shadow.” 

He rolled his eyes, “Yeah. I guess I just attract all the ladies.” He laughed. 

I washed the bowls and filled them with food and water. Dean helped me figure out where to put her things, especially her food so she didn’t get in it. 

I turned around to show her where her food was and she was gone. 

I looked at Dean and we went looking for her. “Hey Delilah, have you seen Bubbles?” I asked as I approached her door. She shook her head no. 

I continued looking when I heard Dean.

“Bubbles! No!” I ran to our room and saw Dean standing with one of his favorite flannels in his hand. It looked ripped. I bit my lip to stifle the giggle. 

“She ate my shirt! My favorite shirt.” The giggle slipped out.

“Oh so this is funny?” I nodded, “Yeah a little. We just have to train her. She’s a baby, Dean.” “Well first thing tomorrow she’s going to training.” 

I laughed, “Dean, you have to sign her up for the classes.” 

“Well her and I will go and beg them to take her. I can’t have her eating all my clothes.” “Well, at least it wasn’t the leather in the car, or your favorite boots.” 

His head spun and he looked at me and gasped, “Bite your tongue.” He looked at Bubbles who was wagging her tail at him with her tongue out, “And you better not get any ideas.” She barked and wagged her tail at him.

“Aww look at that, another girl already wrapped around your finger.” He scoffed.

Over the next few weeks we all fell into a comfortable rhythm with Bubbles and her training was going good. She had stopped chewing on things other than her toys and she was always by Dean’s side. 

“Hey Y/N, have you seen my burgundy shirt? I can’t find it anywhere.” I heard Dean call from the bedroom. 

“The last I saw it was in the laundry pile when I washed clothes the other day. Check your closet.” 

“I did, it’s not in there.” I walked towards the laundry room, maybe it was hanging in there. I looked and couldn’t find it. 

“Sorry babe, I can’t find it. I don’t know where it is.” 

“This is weird. I’m missing some shirts, some socks and I can’t find my old leather jacket.” “That is weird. I’ll see if I can help you find them.” 

We searched everywhere. Checking the garage, the laundry room, the bathrooms, our room, then I walked into Delilah’s room. 

I noticed something sticking out from under her pillow. I lifted her pillow and found one of Dean’s missing t-shirts. I chuckled, “Hey Dean, can you come here please.” 

Dean walked to the door, “What’s up?” “Look.” I showed him his shirt and he smiled. He shrugged, “What can I say the girl loves me.” “Yes she does.”

We searched her room for the other things that were missing but couldn’t find them. 

“I was sure we would find the rest of the stuff in her room. Let’s check the Dean cave. Maybe you took your jacket off in there.” 

We went to the room and started searching, not finding anything. I looked over and noticed Bubbles’ bed was missing. “Dean, where is Bubbles’ bed?” “It was right there.” He pointed to the now empty spot.

“Okay, this is weird. You’re missing things and now her bed is gone.” 

I walked around to the side of the couch that was close to the wall. I looked down and chuckled. 

“Dean, come here.” He walked over and looked down. There between the couch and the wall was Bubbles. Curled in a ball, laying on her bed and a pile of Dean’s shirts, socks and his jacket.

He sighed, “So she’s not chewing on my stuff, she’s taking it now.” “It’s because it has your scent, Dean. You’re her person.” 

“Well can’t I be her person without her taking my stuff?” He chuckled. When he laughed Bubbles stretched and looked up and saw him. She wagged her tail and leaped up. 

He scooped her up and she started licking his face. I laughed “You know it’s only fair Bubbles took your shirts. Delilah and I both have your shirts and you’re our person, so she needs something too.” 

“At this rate I won’t have any clothes left.” I laughed. I bent down and started to gather his stuff out of her bed. She looked at me and whimpered. 

Dean looked at me and at Bubbles, “Leave that one.” He nodded towards an old green shirt he wears when he works on Baby. I smiled and nodded. I put it back in her bed and she snuggled to Dean. 

I placed a kiss on his lips and pet Bubbles. 

A few hours later Dean, Delilah, Bubbles and I were snuggled on the couch watching Frozen, again. I was sitting on Dean’s right side, Delilah was snuggled to this left and Bubbles was asleep in his lap. 

I looked over in the middle of the movie and saw the three of them fast asleep. I grabbed a blanket and draped it over them. I pulled one over me and snuggled back to Dean. Looking over at my family I thought how incredibly blessed I was to have Dean and Delilah. I couldn’t wait to add our baby boy to our family. He will fit in perfectly and will complete our little family. 

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[moriwori]

𝓦ring 𝓽he 𝓦orld 𖹭───𖹭 西村 力

𝓦arnings: Angst, Lots of description

Mori's Note: This idea has been on my mind for the longest while and I wanted to put it to words and I think I did it! I don't think this will be a series, but I do plan on posting like one more fic relating to this. Enjoy!

𝓣he fan gently whirrs in the background while your body, slumped on the floor, your back curved as the rest of your body caves to the weight of the amount of pressure bending you into the box you've never quite found the escape from, a puddle of tears spread across the wooden floor beneath your cheekbones. Your head feels heavy, maybe because it is but it's never been that much of a problem, maybe it hasn't been addressed?

Continue...

Either way, it kind of hurts, you feel the thin delicate ropes of wood imprint their mark on your skin. It's gonna be there for a few hours, you hope Ni-ki doesn't mind it. Nowadays, he doesn't seem to mind anything. Maybe running away wasn't the best choice. Maybe he wanted to be with his sisters, mom, and his family in general before the inevitable. Maybe he pities so much that he just decided it all didn't matter as he'd be evaporate into nothing. You felt utterly pathetic, if there was a word to describe the extent of your patheti-sism you wish it could be created just this second before everyone died a very very horrible death.

The fan cranes over to your frame still on the floor with the shirt you went to sleep with last night. It's white, flimsy, and baggy with two stains on either side of your armpits. Each time you so much as to turn a certain way you feel the wet spots, now cold after marinating in the air, hit your armpit stubble which always comes as an unpleasant shock especially with it being summer.

"Y/N? I got what you wanted." He pauses, he's must've spotted you on the floor. He hates to see you like this, he understands but he yearns for romance and your usual glow he used to bask in each and every day even when the day brought failing marks or detentions, you were still there, waiting for him, to hold his hand and tell him about everything that happened that day. He leaves the two bags of groceries at the door, you hear him approaching yet you remain as you were. Still and unmoved. He steps over your body and settles himself in the way of your view of the fan.

"What's going on with you? Where have you gone?" His hands still adorn the bracelet made of daises a day ago at the park while they cup your cheek. An essence of a smile played on his face while shifting his body to lay with you pressing a kiss to your cheeks. "Awe, stop being so mopey. We're here together and I for one think that's as good ws it's gonna get—" He interjected himself regretting the way he worded "I..I didn't mean it like that. I meant that it's like kinda cool to hang out—?" Before he went on an hour long tangent about what he meant when he said what he said only moments ago which you were now forgetting, maybe because of the headache you were having at the moment.

[prongsielefthiswand]

hmm something I’ve been thinking about lately, particularly after listening to ‘Twin size mattress’ regarding Sirius and Regulus.

I know as a fandom usually nowadays we see Regulus’ pov after Sirius left where he’s (understandably) devastated and regardless of the particular portrayal of whether Regulus wAs a death eater or not, he still was left behind by his big brother and being angsty and upset over it is perfectly reasonable.

But as the oldest sibling myself, my view on the situation is through Sirius’ eyes.

Sirius, who for years has felt trapped beneath his skin everytime he goes home for the holidays. He knows he’s a (pun not intended) black sheep, and that realistically if he wants to live a life where he’s happy, it can’t be in the company of the rest of his biological family. He’s not an idiot he knows there’s a growing distance between him and Regulus, but they’re all emotionally repressed, there’s no way he’s going to initiate that conversation with Regulus and talk about it.

Instead Sirius turns to James and lets him fill in that hole that Regulus is slowly leaving.

James’ love is easy, unconditional, and unmarred by traumatic childhood memories.

I’d like to think that Sirius stayed there as long as he could, not because he wanted the money or the name or anything, but because he couldn’t truely let Regulus go.

As you age, you grow and mature but sometimes you’re so caught up in your own growing up that you forget that the people around you are also growing with you. The realisation can come suddenly, like noticing one day that your mum has streaks of grey in her hair, and you wonder when did that happen.

For Sirius, it’s when Regulus started snapping back at him, started questioning him, when he started having little mannerisms and phrases that didn’t come from him.

From on then I imagine Sirius dreaded seeing Regulus grow up, because the more the did, the further away they got from each other. That wasn’t the only shift happening.

Sirius had heard whispers of someone rising, had noticed that more and more comments against muggleborns and halfbloods were being being made at dinners and functions, that his own mother had grown increasingly more wary of their reputation, as her hold around Sirius and Regulus had become worse.

What was manageable before with gritted teeth and blatant ignorance, was now met with curses and shrieks.

Regulus never said a word during any of these ordeals, but he never left until Sirius was patched up and had limped back to his room.

Distantly, Sirius thinks of the cruel irony, how they only started to match that closeness they shared as children when Sirius was being beaten black and blue on the floor of his father’s study.

Whilst Regulus waves his wand over the cuts, Sirius aches to reach out, to say something, anything.

He silently begs Regulus to say something himself.

no words were exchanged as Regulus finished up and silently left.

The night Sirius left, he thought he was going to die.

dinner had been a bloodbath, his mother had mentioned a potential match for him, as many girls were being married off quickly in these trying times, and Sirius put his foot down. It was bloody, even Regulus ad finally broke out of his horrified silence to whisper out a panicked “Siri- please-“.

Late that night, Sirius packed a bag.

His head was a whirl of thoughts, but his hands hadn’t stopped shaking since dinner time, and he didn’t think he’d be comfortable sleeping under this roof ever again.

“What are you doing?” A voice interrupted him from where he was stuffing shirts into his bag.

Regulus stood before him in his silken pjs.

Reggie , Sirius’ mind whispered, heart aching to reach out for him again.

his Reggie, with a nasty mark in the shape of a hand going across his cheek.

“Sirius, what are you doing?” Regulus asked again, and for the first time in years, Sirius saw how young his brother really was.

Heart in his throat, Sirius would have begged Regulus to come with him, come to the Potter’s, where they’d be safe, where they’d loved.

Where they could learn to love each other.

Sirius is startled when Regulus starts to cry, shaking his head incessantly.

He wants to reach out, so he does, but this time, he’s being batted off. He’s being yelled at, he’s being blamed for Regulus being hit in the face.

And Sirius, Sirius can’t hear his own thoughts anymore. He barely remembers to breathe.

The night Sirius ran away from that house, he thought he was going to die, not because of the curses his parents laid upon him, but because he left his heart back there with him.

He doesn’t remember how he ended up outside on the side of the road, the Knightbus driving up towards him.

He doesn’t register trudging up the stairs to the Potter’s place, shivering lightly against the snowy steps.

That night, curled up beside James, his brother, Sirius cries himself to sleep.

It doesn’t get easier over time.

Regulus ignores him back at Hogwarts and Sirius can’t find it in himself to reach out for him again.

He notices how the bags grow beneath his eyes as the months pass, notices how Regulus is pulled out of school constantly, if his absences at meals had anything to say for it.

His brother needed help, and no one seemed to be doing anything.

But by the time he’d finally mustered the courage to step in, Regulus was pulled out of school and Sirius’ own graduation came not long after that.

Before he could even hope to reconnect during their adult lives, his dreams were shattered by the daily prophet with a simple headline, and Sirius’ heart broke for the second time.

[according2thelore]

ageswap!au ficlet, continuation of this

dean realizes, as he watches his older brother sleep, that he probably has the ability to end the world.

dean’s never been able to do shit. he’s the family disappointment. unlike golden boy sammy, he sucked at academics, never had the patience for team sports, never had a friend to keep to his name.

hell, he couldn’t even keep sam from walking out that door seven years ago, duffle bag in hand and thirty seconds away from forgetting he even had a little brother.

but now, dean’s gut twists as he reckons he’s the most powerful man alive. he’s twenty years old.

sammy’s snoring lightly, mouth slack and eyes twitching under closed eyelids. his hand is fisted in the fabric of dean’s tshirt at his waist, so part of his arm holds dean down to the bed.

it was probably strategic, the fucker.

sam keeps him close, now. sam still hasn’t told him what happened in the…months (?) dean’s been gone. dean can’t believe it’s only been months for him. dean was gone so long he had mostly forgotten what sam looked like.

dean can barely get a few feet away from sam now before sam starts to get twitchy. dean went on an unsanctioned piss break at a diner the other day and found sam having a panic attack on the sidewalk outside, having abandoned their booth because he’d come back to the table and dean was gone.

dean doesn’t mind. he really, really doesn’t mind.

they still get queen beds everywhere they go, but sam ends up in his bed more often than not. and the “not” involves him facing dean in his own bed, or doing research until he falls asleep over his laptop.

dean insists he’s not a child, but sam gives him his big “i want to protect you” eyes and dean capitulates.

dean knows sammy's not telling him everything.

ruby shows up at their door once a week, and she and sam disappear for hours. those moments are the longest dean goes without sam's hands on him, whether it's a guiding hand on his shoulder or an ankle pressed to his under diner tables, sam's skin always seems to be touching his.

until ruby comes, and then sam's jaw always tightens, a look that means there's not enough money for dinner or dean failed a test or dad took dean on a hunt sam thought he was too young for.

but he leaves all the same, making sure dean has salted and trapped the room to high heaven, like dean is some fucking invalid who doesn't know how to do his damn job.

sam swears he's not fucking ruby. he promises up and down, hands holding dean's face like he's a child, like he's some precious thing sam doesn't want to break.

dean doesn't know if he believes him, but knows sam comes home (home, whether it's the impala or the motel or just opens his arms and lets dean fall into him) just a little hard every time, cock half-full and swelling when he sees dean's bare thighs on motel sheets. they don't mention it.

he called sam while he was gone with ruby, one time, and sam picked up immediately, out of breath and demanding to know what was wrong, what happened. before dean could say anything, sam snapped that he was coming back. sam came back smelling of leather and sulfur and his eyes glinting golden in the watery motel neon.

dean knows about the blood.

of course he does.

you can only smell iron and sulfur on your brother's breath so many times when he falls asleep practically in your skin before you connect the dots. he didn't at first, just knew sammy's powers had gotten stronger. way stronger. too strong.

dean had a nightmare one of his first nights back, and woke up screaming. sam, who had fallen asleep with his hand in dean's hair, startled. when dean opened his eyes, every item in the motel room was three feet in the air, including their bed. the window had shattered outwards.

sam snapped the neck of a demon they ran into last week from thirty feet away. one time, dean caught him staring at the window, and only when he called sam's name and sam looked away did dean realize that sam had stopped the trees outside from blowing in the breeze.

the other night when they pulled up to this shit-hole with distinctly not-enough-money for a few nights, dean went first to the motel office to flirt their way into a few extra nights. sam had found him--of course--before he got too far, and he still hasn't seen the greasy, balding old guy who eyed dean up lasciviously since. he saw the guy's wallet next to the dumpster out back. dean is afraid to ask.

presently, sam snorts in his sleep, and his hand curls tighter into the fabric of dean's shirt. his mouth twitches, and dean wants to kiss him. he wants to kiss him with such an acuity that it's almost blinding.

but they don't do things like that. sam's concern has been entirely and completely brotherly. hell just took the parts of dean that already existed and made them worse.

it took his twisted love and need-want-need for his big brother and ratcheted the urgency up to eleven. dean can barely look at sam, with his eyes that still shine a little weird whenever dean looks at him out of the corner of his eyes, without wanting to drop to his knees and finally let sam fuck his mouth until his jaw dislocates.

dean reaches up, slow, and curls a hand around the amulet, slid to the side around sam’s neck. when sam had been wearing it when dean went to get him at stanford, dean had been shocked.

he had remembered wondering if he told his pretty little girlfriend about his little brother. and the way jessica had perked up when he said “dean,” he knew he had.

(dean later found the picture of him in sam’s wallet, a poorly cropped mall photo-booth picture of them both where dean had been putting devil horns behind sam’s head and sam had caught him mid-photo, shoving him down and out of the frame. both of them caught in joyous laughter, dean looking almost directly into the camera, eyes shining. dean hated him for having it. he hated that it felt like sam had kept this photo out of penance rather than love. it had wear marks at the edges from being taken out of the little plastic window so often.)

dean pushes some of sam's hair off of his forehead, and stares into the slack face of the man he'd worshipped for years. sam's hand loosens on dean's shirt, and dean jolts when sam's warm, broad palm slides up against his waist, along dean's ribs, broad thick fingers finally settling across his side.

dean's heat thunders in his chest, feeling the new calluses and just how strong his big brother's grip is when he tightens his hold briefly, mouth still slack in sleep.

dean knows without a doubt that he could end the world if he wanted to. that he could tell sam to kill someone and he'd do it. sam probably did it to the motel clerk, without dean saying or doing anything.

dean could tell sam that the world had hurt him, and sam would burn it to the ground. dean could whisper in his ear that ruby had been plotting against dean, and sam'd probably believe it. sam'd give dean her head with a kiss on dean's forehead.

dean could ask sam to crawl into hell and pull alistair out by his half-cut-off cock, and sam would lace up his boots like dean had asked him to make a grocery run.

that's why dean hasn't told him much. he hasn't told sam about what hell was like, not really. not only because it was all dean's fault--all of it, every sadistic fucking detail--but because he's afraid of what sam's capable of. he's not scared of sam, couldn't be, that's his big brother, but he knows sam's not...completely sam right now.

sam's a nuclear bomb that dean has strapped himself to, and he hopes they kill as few people as possible when they crash. dean knows he holds the kill switch in his pocket, could point at anyone and say "now" and end the world.

when dean looks at this reflection he doesn't recognize in the mirror, he's afraid he might press it. he's afraid he'll turn sam into a monster by association. that sam will hurt people and--because dean asked him to, because dean is rotten to the very center and his being metastasizes like cancer--that sam will like it.

that angel in the barn, the one that pulled dean out of hell, told him he had a role to play. dean doesn't give a fuck what some feathery asshole wants to tell him. dean is twenty years old. he can't even technically drink yet, he's still getting new hair on his face, and he just reached sam's shoulder a few months ago in terms of height. he can't be that damn important.

and the angel doesn't know a damn thing.

sam is his big brother. dean has been watching him since he was old enough to see, had been wrapping his fists in sam's shirt-tails since he was hold enough to grab.

he'd been wanting to be sam, wanting to be sam's, since he could think.

sam sniffles in his sleep, and his hand twitches against dean's side. he pulls dean closer, closer, closer.

dean lifts the skin-warm amulet to his lips, presses the wet insides of his mouth to it, and tucks his face into the crook of his brother's neck, like he's done since he was born, and lets himself fade away. he's too wretched to be forgiven, but sam's hands on his skin feel as close to forgiveness as dean will ever know.

if he's wrong--if dean's big brother is wrong--then they'll both be wrong. damn the consequences.